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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Warning Labels

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Warning

This bottle of Coke says be careful when opening, cap may explode...blah blah. Has anyone actually seen a cap blow off a soda bottle, much less injure someone?”

Nope. I guess it's always possible though.”

Remember that time I tried to make root beer in a two liter bottle and added two much yeast? Even then the cap didn't fly off.”

Yeah, the bottle expanded so much that it cracked and the pressure from the fermentation pushed all of the liquid out, but the bottle was still pressurized and hard as a rock!”

Then I opened it up and filled it with water to see where the leak was, but I couldn't find it.”

Once you let the air out to put the water in, it depressurized and contracted back down and hid the cracks. Simple physics. Cool though.”

Even with all that, the cap never blew off.”

See? So it's a pointless warning.”

The world's full of pointless warnings.”

It's too bad friends don't come with warnings.”

Warning: Geeky Caffeine-addict. May hyper-actively talk about newest video card model.”

Hey, you didn't have to listen!”

Warning: Narcoleptic Gambler. May decide to cook very aromatically seasoned steak at 5:30 am.”

Hey, when you've got a hankering for steak..”

It's not a very pleasing smell for a vegetarian to wake up to in the morning though.”

I could buy a spinach air freshener for you if you like?”

Scott bursts out laughing.

As long as you don't buy, and wear, that bacon cologne you showed me..”

Warning: Anal-Retentive brunette is modern day Big Brother.”

Anal-Retentive? I'm anal-retentive?” Tabitha yells, and starts hitting Scott.

Ow! Ow! Did I mention you're very pretty?” Scott interjects, trying to duck Tabitha's blows..”

Only very?” Tabitha queries, rearing her fist back as if to punch him again.

Magnificantly, Very very! Most hotest!” Scott says quickly.

Most hotest?”

Sounds like something you would say about a stove..”

Then it might apply best to the flame-haired one over there.” Billy says, indicating Ann.

My hair's been blond for months!”

Billy looks more closely. So it is..You changed it again!”

Months ago! Last year!”


Yeah, no way. I would've noticed.”

Had to be this week. Definitely.”

Tabitha rolls her eyes. “Guys! No wonder you can never describe to us what girls you meet look like.”

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