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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Beating the Heat

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank

Subject: Beating the Heat

It's so hot all of a sudden. Summer has really arrived.”

You know what would really hit the spot? A root beer float!”

Mmm, that does sound good. But we have no root beer, or even ice cream.”

How could we have no ice cream? That's gotta be a sin or something.”

I think I saw Billy finishing it off last night.”

Wasn't there a lot left?”

Probably, but you know Billy.”

Yeah. He takes the phrase 'I'm so hungry I could eat a horse' literally.”

I'll go get the supplies this time. Chocolate and Vanilla ice cream?”

Perfect. Don't get Mug root beer though, I hate that stuff.”

When Tabitha returns, I start scooping the ice cream, and we're chatting about nothing in particular. I put the first one down on the counter next to Sara and turn back to the ice cream carton.

Hey! Where'd my float go?”

I put it right there. Hmm..”

Maybe it floated away.” Frank says, walking in from around the corner.

Grr! Float thief!”

Did you just growl at me?”

Don't steal my float then. Especially if you're going to make bad puns after you do it.”

You know, some people think I'm funny.”

Tabitha snickers. “Who?”

And don't say Scott.”

Forget it. I'll just sit here and enjoy my float.”

Let's all do that. Here's the rest of them. Flip on the games or something Frank.”

Already there.”

Monday, June 25, 2007

Milk Fight

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Tabitha, Frank, and Scott.

Subject: Milk Fight!

No! You go get it, I have to work today!”

You don't work until three! That is hours from now!”

It's a mental preparation thing! I don't want to go to the store!”

I don't care! You took the last of the milk, you go replace it!”

You're the one that wants it, you replace it!”

I bought the milk last time. You never buy anything!”

What do you want milk for anyway? Water's healthier!”

Water with cereal is just disgusting!”

Maybe you shouldn't have cereal then!”

Maybe you shouldn't have finished all the milk!”

Tabitha stumbles out of her room in a daze.

What the fuck are you guys arguing about milk at 7am for? Some of us are actually trying to sleep!”

And did either of you even check the fridge? Look! Here's another carton behind the birch beer. So you're keeping me up for nothing!”

But..this is 2%..”

Oh? Do you have a problem with that?!”

Uhhh, no. 2% is fine. Great. I love it. Go back to bed Tabitha.”

Alright. If i wake up to find out one of you used up the last of the bread, I will hunt you down. Mark my words.”

Tabitha returns to her bedroom.

2%? People drink that stuff?”

I think I'll just have a bagel.”

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Mocha Mania

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Tabitha, Scott.

Subject: Mocha Mania

Ann! Tabitha! Glad you're home. Someone had called and ordered a whole bunch of Frappachinos, and then called and canceled five minutes after he was supposed to pick them up. I took five of them with me when I left for you guys.”

I'm not sure I'm in a coffee mood, and Frank, Billy and Sara are all at work.”

I'll have one, what kind are they?”

Java Chip. You have to have one or two Ann, you can't let good coffee and chocolate go to waste can you?”

I'll have one, if you have one.”

Time Passes...

Why are you baking?”

I'm too jittery. Have to expend the energy somewhere.”

I just hope you're not making something like espresso brownies.”

I am going to make chocolate chip snickerdoodles. Oddly enough we have the ingredients for them.”

Why aren't you hyper Scott?”

I think I'm immune. There have been days I've drank espresso like water at work. I must have built up a tolerance.”

I wish I had a tolerance. Although, had I eaten lunch maybe I wouldn't feel as jittery.”

You're speed walking around the couch. You're going to wear a hole in the carpet.”

You're juggling sticks of butter that Tabitha needs for her cookies. Maybe you're not as immune as you think.”

He's probably just gotten better at dealing with it.”

By channeling it into juggling? Do you juggle Mochas for your customers Scott?”

No, but I preform slight of hand on their money.”

Ha! Now give me the butter, I need to cream it for the cookies.”

Come and get it!”

Scott heads into the living room with it, and Tabitha gives chase and tackles him. Scott loses his balance and collides with Ann, who was still pacing, and they all crumble into a heap on the floor.

Ouch. Get off of me!”

Nice tackle, the Jets could use you.”

Thank you. Now give up the butter.”

I dropped it when you tackled me.”

Here it is, it's smushed into my shirt. Does butter stain?”

Only the salted kind.”

Great, now I have to go to the store. You two behave while I'm gone.”

Without you here to tackle us, I think we'll be fine. I'll have you know I was almost in the end zone.”

Tabitha sticks out her tongue at Scott and walks out the door.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Inspired by Ann, brought to you by Scott

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Scott, Ann

Subject: Inspired by Ann

Not only is this post topic inspired by Ann, the whole post is! She told me she's hiding all of my beer until I post something. I think she was upset when she left the apartment for four hours and when she came back I was in the same position playing video games.

Starbucks was slow today. Maybe the caffeine addicts had finally gone cold turkey, or the slew of businesspeople that are usually here decided it wouldn't be a horrible idea to actually do some work rather than sipping coffee and checking their blackberries. Bruce was in about mid-day, bored as he usually is. I mentioned to him about Ann's hair, and after reassuring him that she was definitely still hot, we had an idea.

An older man with black hair walks in and orders a coffee.

That's an easy one. Definitely yes.”

Bruce: “For sure.”

A woman walks in with long blond hair and orders a frappachino.

Bruce: “I don't feel this one.”

Definitely yes. Her order clinches it.”

A college-aged woman walks in with blond hair with a blue streak in it and orders a soy white mocha with sugar-free vanilla and no whipped cream.

That's not even a challenge.”

Bruce: “Who's next?”

A middle-aged man walks in, wearing a baseball cap and orders a double espresso.

Bruce: “That's not fair!”

It probably wasn't an option for him, hence the cap.”

A pale skinned teenage girl with short red hair enters and orders a large double chocolate chip frappachino.

I say definitely.”

Bruce: “Her? No way! You're trippin'!”

An attractive early 20s woman walks in with red hair and orders a cappuccino.

I'd bet my life on this one.”

Bruce: “I'd bet something alright.”

What are you betting on?”

We're discussing whether or not the customers have dyed their hair or not.”

I see. Don't you have a job or something better to do Bruce?”

Bruce: “Job? Hell no! What would I want one of those for?”

Umm..nevermind. I gotta get to work, thanks for the coffee.”

Sure thing firecracker.”

Now time to crack open a cold one and watch the game.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Death of Blond Jokes

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Ann's Changes

We arrived at Catalina's at 10:30. Sara and Frank wanted to watch the game at home, not knowing if they'd have a seat with a good angle for the televisions at Catalina's. When we got there the crowd was thinning out a bit, but there was no one at the hostess stand, so we stood around waiting until a red-haired girl approached us with menus.

Ann?! You dyed your hair!”

You work here now?”

Ann! Lookout, your hair is on fire!”

Why didn't you tell us?”

Can you get us a discount on drinks then?”

Well I'm glad you approve. I did indeed dye my hair, I figured it was time for a change. I cannot get you a discount though. I'm off at 11, so I'll seat you now and join you after my shift. We can discuss how I've actually seen all of you recently and you didn't notice.”

Wow, she looks so different.” Sara says as Ann walks away after seating them to finish her duties for the night.

I know. It's a nice color on her though. Will definitely take some getting used to.”

It eliminates the blond jokes too. Redhead jokes just aren't as funny.”

I'm going to order a Killian's Irish Red to celebrate.”

Me too. Here's Clarence now.”

Clarence: “Hi guys. Isn't Ann's hair just fabulous?”

Just blazin'. It was quite a shock. So when did she start working here?”

Clarence: “Just yesterday afternoon. Usually we wouldn't have her working Friday night, but two of our regulars called in sick.”

Sick sick? Or I have tickets to the Yankee game sick?”

Clarence: “My guess is the latter. Crazy game today huh? I didn't know the Yankees knew how to steal that many bases. And what was with all the swinging bunts?”

No idea. I'll take it though. 10 of 11!”

Clarence: “They're definitely getting back on track. So what can I get you tonight?”

Let's start with five Killian's Irish Red in honor of Ann.”

Clarence: “Sounds perfect. I'll be back shortly to ask you what overly greasy appetizers you want.”

Ann isn't Irish is she?”

I don't think so.”

Then she's not really an 'Irish' Red.”

Did you have a better drink to order?”

Could have gotten strawberry margaritas.”

Well there is always round two.”

Very true. Ann's not even off yet.”

Clarence: “Here you guys are. Appetizers?”

We are going to wait for Ann to order food. I imagine she's hungry.”

We are? Oh fine. Could you bring us some breadsticks to hold me over?”

Clarence: “Certainly. The firecracker should be here shortly.”


Clarence: “Yeah, I thought it up myself.”

I kind of like it.”

And here is Ann herself!”

Introducing yourself? You really are a firecracker.”

Firecracker? I guess it beats blond jokes.”

Fess up! You said you've seen us in the last couple of days. Where?”

Well I saw you at work. I was sitting in the corner on my laptop for about an hour on Tuesday.”

What? No way..”

Yup. I ordered a Java Chip Frappachino from..I can't remember the girl's name. The one with the nose ring.”

Ring Girl.”

Her real name Scott.”

I don't know her real name. I've called her Ring Girl since she started working there.”

I'm sure she loves that. Anyway, you actually made the drink for me, and handed it to me.”

If you say so. I guess the hair totally messed with me. Of course, I rarely look at a pretty girl's face.. Wait, Frank was at Starbucks on Tuesday too. I remember because he complained about losing $100 to an idiot with jack five.”

Fucking newb.”

Yeah. I saw Frank there.”

Wait, so why didn't you just say hello or something? Instead of stalking us from a distance?”

I was going to when Scott didn't recognize me, but then I decided it'd be funny. Anyway, you guys did your own stalking it seems.”

We certainly were successful though. Where did you see me?”

You don't have to worry about not recognizing me. I boarded one of your trains this week. I was in the front car and saw you. I wasn't sure it was you at first, but then I heard your announcement. 'Union Square. Transfer here for the N, R, Q, W, 4, 5, 6, 7 ,8 ,9, 10...wait, only the 4,5,6 I just can't help counting once I start.'”

Ahh yes. I'm worse at 6th, because then I have to start with 1,2,3. The nine used to help but then they abandoned that line.”

Sara walked down the stairs and right past me onto the train on her way to work. This was earlier yesterday, I was coming home to pick up some clothes. If I was a little faster she would've actually seen me at home.”

No guarantees. I can be very zombie-like in the morning.”

Saved the best for last?”

Certainly. You were walking on Park with your friend Melissa, and I suddenly stopped because I wanted to grab an Onion from one of the boxes, and you actually walked into me. I thought for sure you'd recognize me, but you just said 'excuse me' and hurried on your way.”

Oops. Serves you right for suddenly stopping in front of me though. We were in a hurry, Melissa had made lunch reservations and we were running late.”

So that's how I've been stalking you all week. Now to the important stuff, where's Clarence with our second round?”

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Here I Am!

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann

Subject: Ann's e-note

I'm not at home, but I read my roommates' post searching for me, and decided to leave an e-note instead of responding directly. At least this way they won't make fun of me using whole pads of post-its for my note. I feel like Nemo after reading the post; Tabitha as the father clown fish, and Scott as Dory.

First I want to say thank you to the Barmaid and hope she's okay after her last post. We got more traffic from her link to our blog Sunday than we'd had all of the previous three months, and I think we may have even snagged a regular reader or two.

I've had a busy week, and certainly a better one than the Mets. (Sorry Sara) I've got two big surprises, which I don't want to reveal in this note, but if you're all in for late night snacks and drinks at Catalina's Friday night, I'll meet and explain it all to you there. Frank and Sara, you guys aren't headed to one of the subway series games this weekend right? Both surprises will be explained when I show up, although they're not related in any way.

I visited my parents out on the island. I was briefly hanging out with an old boyfriend, who it turns out only actually missed one part of me. I had some of my mother's delicious ravioli, and caught up with my family and read some books I'd been meaning to read for a while. I really enjoyed Angels and Demons by Dan Brown, I'd been meaning to read that since Sara lent it to me after we saw the Da Vinci Code.

I left my job at the library, which is what allowed me the time to visit my parents. The job wasn't bad, and I wasn't worried about being stuck under a pile of Harry Potter books, (excellent visual there Scott, thanks.) but it was time for me to move along.

My writing ambitions have picked up again, and I think a lot of it has to do with making myself write this blog. Having my roommates help out with it has been a great relief too. I was discussing the blog with an old friend, and she mentioned that our lives resemble the tv show Friends in many ways. She suggested I should write a script based on the blog, like a Friends episode. I've never written anything in that format, but I might try it just for the sake of trying something new.

I have been coming and going at odd hours, especially since I haven't wanted to pay the peak LIRR train fare to go out on the island. However, I have indeed seen my roommates this week, even if they haven't seen me. I'll leave the details for discussion over drinks Friday night.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Oh Where, Oh Where Has Our Little Ann Gone?

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Oh Where, Oh Where Has Our Little Ann Gone?

So has anyone seen Ann lately? I feel like I haven't seen her in a week.”

I was just thinking the same thing, we haven't even gotten one of her notes.”

I'm pretty sure I've at least heard her come in at night, sometimes really late. I haven't talked to her or seen her either though.”

The same, should we mount a search?”

I don't think I've seen her either, and I usually keep drastically different hours than you guys.”

Have we checked the library? She could be buried under a pile of Harry Potter books.”

No way. The other librarians would have saved her by now. Or at least called us to invite us to the funeral.”

I'd have to get my suit dry cleaned if there was a funeral.”

I don't think you need it, but shouldn't your suit be clean already?”

It's a wrinkled mess in the corner of my closet. I haven't worn it in ages.”

You only have one?”

I probably have another one or two back at my parent's place. I don't use them though, so I didn't bring them when I moved.”

I can't remember the last time I've seen you in anything fancier than what you wear to work.”

I hate getting dressed up anyway. I'm almost dreading my sister's wedding for just that reason.”

Your sister's getting married? When? Why didn't you tell us?”

It didn't come up. August I think. It's going to be hot, which makes me dread the tux even more.”

Well congratulate her for me.”

Back to Ann, It's unlike her to run off for this long without telling anyone. I wonder what her deal is. I hope it's nothing bad.”

We're sitting in the living room talking about her, but is anyone sure she's not just in her room asleep right now?”

Dibs!” Scott jumps up and opens Ann's room and runs in.

Nope, she's not in here. Her laptop is not here either, but her bed is made.” Scott says, returning to the living room.

What does her bed being made have to do with anything?”

Well if it's not made, maybe she didn't sleep in it last night.”

Or she made it when she got up...”

Why would she do that?”

I'm sure she's fine, probably just busy. Maybe she has been sparked by inspiration and is off in some coffee house writing.”

When was the last time you were at work Scott?”

Monday night. Ann wasn't there though.”

Maybe she's marooned on a weird island with polar bears.”

Our lives are not an episode of Lost!”

Then where is she?”

Have we tried calling her cell phone?”

No. That would be practical. How are we practical? I gamble for a living remember?”

Her cell phone died. She dropped it in pancake syrup last week. She told me she was going to get it replaced, but when I called it last night it was off.”

Oooo! What phone is she going to get? Why didn't she tell me? I can help her pick one out. Is she going to get a Razr? The new iPhone is coming out soon, maybe she should get that.”

I don't know. It's a phone. It rings, people answer it. What else do you need?”

You're joking right? I use my phone for so much.”

He doesn't even have a camera on his phone.”

Seriously Billy? I don't think I can talk to you anymore.”

Why don't we just leave a note for Ann to leave us a note telling us what she's been up to? We've heard her come in, I'm sure she'll let us painstaking detail.”

I guess that works. It sure beats staying all night watching Adult Swim and waiting for her to come home. I'll write the note though, you have crappy handwriting Billy.”

Monday, June 11, 2007

The Newest Member Of The Family

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Sara, Tabitha, Frank and Scott.

Subject: The newest member of the family

Another run? This is absurd!”

Another run! Keep it coming!”

Woah, where'd that second tv come from?” Scott asks, indicating the new flat screen tv sitting in the corner.

Best Buy apparently. We were obviously lost without having a second tv in the living room, so Frank there just ran right out and picked it up for us.” Tabitha says sarcastically, looking up from the book she's reading.

Isn't it great? It's a 37 inch LCD HDTV. Don't the Yankees look great on it?”

That is pretty nice. Our old tv has HD too doesn't it? Why aren't you using it?”

SNY doesn't have HD for most of the away games yet, they're still working on it.”

Pathetic isn't it?”

Relax, it's only the station's second year. They'll get there. I prefer it to Al-Yankzeera over there anyway.”

Calm down you two, or I'll have to separate you! You're fighting more now than when you were fighting over the one set.”

It's only because Frank keeps raising the volume. You know how Michael Kay's voice makes me sick.”

And listening to Keith Hernandez talk about all the birds in the outfield in Detroit is so much better?”

Wow, that is a lot of birds. Why are there so many birds on the field? Is this little league?”

Apparently Comerica Park is now an aviary.”

Maybe they should change their name from the Detroit Tigers to the Detroit Gulls.”

Detroit Gulls just doesn't have the right ring to it. That'd be more like a WNBA team name or something.”

Detroit already has a WNBA team actually, and it's not 'Gulls', it's the Detroit Shock.”

Shock? What kind of name is that? Is their logo one of those warning stickers for electronics that warn of electric shock?”

That would be a pretty cool logo I think!”

Gulls is probably more of a minor league sounding team. The Mets do have a minor league affiliate called the Savannah Sand Gnats,

Gulls would be better than that.”

Most definitely, although I don't think you can have a worse name than the New York Red Bulls. Being named after an energy drink has to be one of the worse forms of product placement.”

Red Bull gives you wings!”

We'll see if the wings help them win their game today against DC United.”

Wow, do you actually follow soccer Frank?”

Nah, I happened to read a blurb somewhere that said who they were playing. I did notice they're doing pretty well this year. I think they're in first place.”

You know what we should do? We've gotta hook up something to both tv's and get a game going. Rainbow six or something. Is the new Vegas version out yet?”

It's out for everything except PS3, which it's supposed to be released for sometime soon.”

It's cross platform compatible right? We can get one for the X-Box and one for the Playstation and play each other?”

I think so. We'll have to check before we buy it.”

That would probably be pretty cool on these flat screens. You'd have to angle them a little bit so you couldn't see what the other person was doing though.”

Well of course, you know Scott's a cheater.”

Cheating at 'Go Fish!' doesn't count!”

'Go Fish!' What were you playing that for? Are you six?”

It was Jack's idea.”

Jack? The guy that lives on the 7th floor?”

Jack as in Daniels. Lots of him.”

Tabitha just rolls her eyes. “I should have known.”