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Monday, April 30, 2007

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Ann and Sara cook dinner

Me and Ann decided we would cook dinner for everyone on Sunday. We have done this before and we usually pull it off without any problems; today we had quite a few. They all stemmed from a weird game of phone tag we were playing. Usually we're just sitting around doing nothing and decide to entertain ourselves by cooking. Sunday was different because we both had things to do; I had to meet up with a couple of people from work about a project, and Ann needed to go over to her job to get her paycheck.

Ann was watching the Food Network and found a recipe that when she described it to me sounded delicious. Tabitha's the only one responsible enough to keep the kitchen actually stocked, but since she rarely has money she either drags someone else out to do it, or it doesn't get done. This means that we have nothing closely resembling ingredients for Ann's dish, and have to goto the store.

So, what do we need?”

Breadcrumbs. And...shoot, I left the recipe at the apartment!”

Well that was smart. I guess I'll run and get it, you want to hang out here and pick up what you remember?”

You don't have to go back, I think I remember everything.”

You're sure? Alrighty then.”

We get back to the apartment and start preparing what needs to be prepared when Tabitha returns from class.

You guys are cooking tonight? I see you went to the store, did you get the groceries we needed?”

I didn't know we needed anything, you usually leave a list around here somewhere.”

Tabitha walks over and removes the list from underneath where Ann had stuck the recipe to the fridge.

I asked you to get the groceries Thursday, I bet we have nothing to eat at all do we?”

I look in the fridge and confirm her suspicions.

I'll go tomorrow after work.”

I've heard that one before. I'm going to a friends to eat tonight if someone doesn't go shopping.”

Okay, I have to go get my paycheck anyway, I'll stop on my way back.”

Later I'm working in the kitchen and realize we needed lemons and we don't have any. Ann's memory of the recipe having failed us when we were at the store, I perused the rest of the ingredients, checked the cabinets, and called Ann to get the lemons. When she didn't answer I tried Billy, who I knew was stopping somewhere on his way home later and left him a message asking if he could pick up a couple of lemons. I went back to cooking, until I got up to the steps that required the lemons. I tried Ann again, decided to give her a couple more minutes and went to check my email. When she didn't answer again a couple of minutes later I decided the best course of action would be to go get the lemons myself. I left Ann a brief note and went to the store again. I was unsure of how many we needed, so I got six.

When I got back upstairs, Ann and Tabitha were arguing. Turns out Ann had forgotten the grocery list, and was trying to call us to read it to her. Tabitha had taken a nap, and I had left my phone on the counter when I went to get the lemons.

You still have to go out yet right Sara? Or Is that where you're returning from? Can you stop at the store or maybe I can call Billy.”

No, I just realized you'd forgotten to get lemons before and went to buy some when you didn't answer your phone.”

Ann holds up a bag with lemons and I sigh.

I remembered on my way back, but not how many. So i got eight.”

I got six, how many do we actually need?”


You know what that means! Tequila party!!” Scott says as he walks in.

Any Pseudo-holidays coming up that we can fake celebrate?”

Earth day?”

And Tequila comes from the earth!”

Earth day's passed. Hey Scott, when was the last time you went shopping? We need groceries.”

No can do, I've got an appointment with the doctor.”

I'll go, I have to meet my group anyway. Give me the list.”

I was meeting my group at a Cosi a couple of blocks away, but just as I get there I got a call that it was canceled, so I head to the store thinking about all the work we're going to have to do at work tomorrow because we didn't meet and discuss it today. I wasn't really paying much attention to the shopping, just reading the item and taking it off the shelf. It wasn't until I was halfway back to the apartment that I realized that lemons were on the list and I'd just bought four more of them. I walk back into the apartment, ready to have everyone laugh at me for buying more lemons.

It's like a lemon parade in here!”

Shit, Please tell me you didn't get my message Billy?”

You asked me to get a couple of lemons. I didn't know what you meant by a couple, so I picked up a whole dozen. I figured we could always make use of the extras, I just didn't realize there would be this many extras.”

Well now there are even more, there were lemons on your list Tabitha and I wasn't paying any attention.”

Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, Frank came home.

Hi Hunnys, I'm home!” says Frank, seeing all three girls in the kitchen.

I cracked this guy with Aces this morning for a big pot, figured I'd celebrate by buying us some Don Julio anejo. Oh, and lemons of course. I know they were on the grocery list, but I got some extras for the tequila. What? Why are you all looking at me like that?”

Despite the literally dozens of lemons laying around, the rest of the dinner went pretty smoothly. We all sat down and ate together for once, and the meal actually did come out tasty. I didn't think even a Tequila party would use up all the lemons so Billy called his mother who has a wonderful strawberry lemonade recipe that we started putting the lemons to use on. It's delicious!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Late Night Munchies

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Together with Beer

We often get together at a nearby restaurant when we want a late night snack and/or a drink. They often have nice deals on cheap appetizers and cocktails late at night, so this appeals to the poorer of us.”

Who'd we get today?” asks Sara as she joins the group at the table.

My boy Clarence.” says Scott, pointing.

Excellent. Cindy is such a ditz.”

“Now now, that's not very nice.” Clarence says as he walks up to the table.

Are you denying that she's a ditz?” asks Frank.

“I just said it isn't nice.” says Clarence with a wink. “Actually she flew home to Ohio to visit her sister. She won't be back until next week.”

Oh that's nice! So who's covering her shifts?” inquires Tabitha.

“Patrick. You might not know him, he only works afternoons.”

Lets order guys, I am famished!”

We place our orders, and Clarence turns to walk away.

Oh! And some breadsticks!”

You ordered a Manhattan Scott? Do you even know what that is?”

It's alcohol of some kind right? I live here and I've never had one.”

Well, I hope you enjoy Whiskey.” says Tabitha, giggling.

I can't believe you ordered a whole steak Billy. Didn't you just eat an hour ago?”

What can I say? I like my meat. I passed on appetizers at least.”

Oh? You're not going to steal any of my potato skins?”

They do sound good..”

They make great potato skins here. I bet they go well with whiskey.”

You two could just order your own you know, you don't have to steal mine.”

Where's the fun in that?”


It's alright Sara, I won't steal your potato skins. Your French fries on the other hand..”


I should get my own table. Either that or I should stop ordering food you guys like. Maybe I should develop a taste for snails or something.”

Or Whiskey. Manhattans are nasty! “

Clarence arrives at the table with Scott's new drink. “Here's your beer Scotty, guess Whiskey isn't your thing.” Clarence says, winking.

Never again. “ Takes a sip, “Mmm, beer. Wonderful beer.”

“Another Pink Squirrel Billy? I just love serving pink drinks.”

Sure, but super-size this one. The bigger the better.”

“You got it Tiger.”

Our food arrives shortly after that. “A steak and a pink squirrel. That's such a normal order.”

You're right. You know what else it needs?”


Billy grabs one of Sara's potato skins, dips it in his squirrel, and takes a bite. “Mmhmm, Thsisth isth grood”

Ugh! I _should_ charge you a quarter for that!”

Haha, he's got a piece of bacon in his drink now.”

It's a bacon martini. It's all the rave nowadays. “

I'd rather have a chicken parmigiana margarita myself.”

How about a Lobster Island Ice Tea?”

Yuck! You guys are ruining my appetite!”

I can help with that!” Scott snatches one of Sara's potato skins and shoves it in his mouth.

Table manners Scott! We wouldn't want you to choke!”

Yeah, don't expect any of us to do CPR.”

“Choking is frowned upon here. People tend to tip badly when someone dies at the next table.” Clarence says as he walks over. “You've got some bacon in your Pink Squirrel Billy. What do you get when you cross a pig and squirrel?”

A Pearl?”

“I was going to say a Squig. Yours is better. Here is your check, have a good evening.”

Wasn't a squig something from Harry Potter?”

That's a squib. A person with no innate magical ability trying to learn magic.”

We all finish our drinks and pay the bill. 20 minutes later we're all back at the apartment doing our separate things. Frank's already got a poker game up and running, Billy and Sara are asleep for early shifts. Scott's lounging on the couch watching SportsCenter, Tabitha's in her room studying, and I'm messing around on my computer.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Mickey Mouse is a vampire!

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Frank, Scott

Subject: Tourist Traps of the South

How was the trip?”

I feel like I got raped by Mickey Mouse.”

They don't call him Steamboat Willie for nothing.”

I recently was invited on a trip to Walt Disney World with my cousins. Obviously I expected higher prices and all of that stuff, but I was put-off by just how much of a tourist trap it seemed to be. I've been to Disneyland in recent years too, and was much happier with that experience. I don't know that I have much of a right to complain seeing as the city I live in is routinely more expensive than just about everywhere else. You can get movie passes that say '$1 surcharge will apply in Manhattan', and even fast food chains that boast dollar menus routinely look like $1.29 menus. The steady stream of millions of people rarely motivates any place to lower prices because they have a steady supply of customers no matter what they charge. Despite this, I'm going to complain anyway.

We stayed just outside of Disney, and the feel I got from it was similar to the seediness of old Las Vegas, the area by the old casinos like Lady Luck and the Golden Nugget. It wasn't as shiny, but there were plenty of lights and signs and gift shops. I don't shop or pay attention to prices often, but at the three different Publix's we stopped at I noticed a couple of things. Name-brand soda always seemed to be at 1.79 with no sales in sight. There was a bottle of champagne that was 300% more expensive then I've found it in liquor stores around here. I don't care for the name Publix. There was only one bank that I saw within 15 miles of where we stayed, and not even a Starbucks to be found. We ate at a Shoneys, which was disappointing, as well as two Disney restaurants that were both unaccommodating, featured a very limited menu and were expensive. The one restaurant in Mexico that we made a reservation for months ago told us that they couldn't get all 9+2 of us together, and offered us a table of six and a table of five which they couldn't guarantee would be near each other. When we arrived, we still waited 15 minutes; Ended up being put in three four-person tables, all next to each other but not connected. Then they gave us two different waiters and the food wasn't anything special. Not to mention the very limited selection of beverages or snacks to be had inside the parks, or the cost of the tickets to get in.

Maybe my expectations were just too high for the “Happiest Place on Earth”, but I was still disappointed. On top of that, none of the hotels or the resort we stayed at had wireless(or wired) Internet access. I came home to 100 emails, and 65 entries in the regular blogs that I read.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Frank and Ann are very different people

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Frank, and Scott.

Subject: The Difference Between Ann and Frank

I was out partying tonight, but the dudes I was with turned out to be pretty lame and now I'm home early. I came home to find that both Ann and Frank had left for a couple of days, but they let us know in very different ways. In typical Ann fashion there was a note on the fridge. I didn't read it because it was too much writing, but Sara filled me in on what it said.

Sorry to suddenly disappear, but Frank's cousin up in Boston secured seats to a game at Fenway Park and since Frank had never been he decided there was no time like right now. At first I though he was crazy leaving in the middle of the night to drive up to Boston, but the more I thought about it, the more fun it sounded. Frank said they had an extra ticket still, so after he called his cousin back, I decided to tag along. It was a tough decision, but I hate work anyway so I called in for Monday, and maybe Tuesday too. I got up really early this morning though, so I very well may need Frank to stop for coffee on the way. We're figuring the roads will be pretty quiet, but then you never can tell. You guys want me to pick you up anything? Oh, you can't answer me because this is a post-it note. Well notes really, It's good that Tabitha bought the super-sized ones. The tickets are for Monday, apparently it's Patriot's day and the day of the Boston Marathon. The game actually starts at 10am, which I thought was a bit early to start playing baseball, but who am I to judge? Apparently it's a great day in Boston and really hard to get tickets. We figured since we're going up right now, we might as well try to goto the game tomorrow too. They're playing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, such a long name that is; who's bright idea was that? Frank's dragging me away now, we're in Boston if you need us.

That pretty much covers it, but out of curiosity I checked Frank's AIM away message.

I drove my cah somewhere.”

Sara argues that that is almost as descriptive as Ann's note.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Sara Drinks

Welcome to the 6th floor. Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha

Subject: Sara and her friend Jack

It was 10:50 Tuesday night when I finally got concerned enough to call Sara. Usually she tries to get to bed by 11. I thought that maybe she'd gone out with some people from work and felt bad about leaving early to goto sleep, but it was getting late. I figured at least she could use the phone call to find an excuse to leave.

I dialed her cellphone and was greeted by the unmistakable roar of a bar in the background.

Tabitha? Hey! What's up!!”

Sara? It's 11pm, are you coming home? Where are you?”

Relax Tabby! I just went out with my friend Julie from college.”

Where is she now?”

Oh probably asleep. She went home an hour ago.”

And why aren't you doing the same?”

Because I'm having fun!”

I found out what bar she was at and then went and got Ann from the living room, who was playing Dr. Mario with Billy on our old NES, and the two of us decided that Sara probably shouldn't be drunk and alone at a bar on a Tuesday night. We grabbed our coats and headed downtown to meet her, hoping she hadn't left for another bar on a whim.

We arrived at the bar and went in, searching for Sara. We found her at the end of the bar, engaged in a discussion with a good-looking guy about ways to improve the subway system. He stuck around for a little while after we showed up, but soon he lost interest and we took his seat. Sara was still reluctant to leave so we made the hard choice of ordering something to drink.

After we'd been there a little while, Sara opened up a bit and explained why she was completely drunk at a bar on a weeknight. She had had a rough day at work, falling behind on one of her projects, and getting yelled at by her project manager. She tried to explain to us what the problem was, and why it was taking her longer than was expected, but we didn't quite get the programming concepts she was outlining. In addition, she was pronouncing 'class' like 'cwass' and Ann, who apparently had forgotten to eat dinner while she was playing Dr. Mario and was finishing her second beer, giggled every time Sara mispronounced it. Ann joined in and complained about her job, and I just smiled and nodded. Sara started cheering up a bit after that, and we took to analyzing the rest of the people in the bar, trying to figure out what brought them here at this hour. There were the handful of college students, a couple of people who looked like they were probably here most nights, the guy Sara was talking to when we came in who Sara said works evenings in a warehouse nearby, a couple who we imagined were having an affair, and two people who had just walked in that looked like waiters.

It was almost 2am when we finally convinced Sara it was time to go home. I helped her down the subway steps as Ann was having enough trouble navigating them on her own, and we made our way back home. We gave Sara some water, and sent her to bed. Her last words before she crawled under her covers were, “Getting up is going to suck tomorrow.”

Frank, who was still up when she left for work tells me that while she looked miserable, she did manage to get ready for work and leave without stumbling, and that she did start to look a little better by the time she left. He told her to stop and get some coffee on the way, which I hope she did.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Nosy Nadine

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Billy and Scott

Subject: Nosy Nadine

It was the middle of the afternoon after one of my shifts and I was at Scott’s Starbucks reading the paper and sipping my coffee when Nosy Nadine came in. Nosy Nadine is one of the few regular’s who even Scott doesn’t like. She has to know everything that’s going in the store for the 15 minutes that she’s there. Scott’s replies today were particularly zany.

“Why are you giving me quarters?” Nadine asked.

“My fingers are too big to pick up the dimes.”

“Why are you writing on my cup? I don’t want anyone else to know what I’m drinking!”

“The machine won’t dispense coffee into an unmarked cup.”

“Why is the milk steaming?”

“The vanilla syrup slept with its wife.”

“You’re sure the milk in here isn’t spoiled?”

“Yes. The whipped cream turns orange when it’s put on spoiled milk so we can tell.”

Then she came over to add some sugar to her drink and I was throwing out my trash and getting ready to go.

“How many packets of sugar do you put in your coffee? Too much sugar is not good you know.”

“I don’t add any. I used to use two but the paper kept getting stuck in my lid and blocking the coffee from coming out.”

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Neon Green Slinky

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Tabitha, Scott

Subject: The Neon Green Slinky

The first time anyone sees our apartment the first thing they ask is always the same.

“What’s with the Neon Green Slinky?”

The Slinky once belonged to Jeffrey, a guy from school I went on a date with once. He knocked on the door, and when I opened it he said “Hey, watch this,” walked over to the stairs, and proceeded to take out the slinky and set it in motion. I introduced him to everybody and then the three of us, Me, Jeffrey and the Slinky, went down the stairs and out the door.

I thought it was just a weird icebreaker type thing until we got to dinner and he kept playing with it. He had it slinking from the table to his chair, from hand to hand and on every step-like surface he could find. We stopped twice on the way back so he could try it out on two different sets of stairs.

When we got back to the apartment, I wasn’t sure what to do. I definitely didn’t want to invite him back up, but when I stopped at my door he didn’t even pause before going in and up the stairs. He got up all the stairs before me, and when I reached the landing he was watching the Slinky descend from the 7th floor. I said goodnight and walked in, but much to my dismay, he followed me. I walked into my room to put my bag down, and he finally decided to pay attention to me. He put the Slinky down and kissed me. When I didn’t kiss him back and told him I was tired and I would see him in class tomorrow he got angry with me and stormed off without his Slinky.

When I recounted it to the others the next day and showed them the Slinky, Scott had an idea.

“You know how in the movies guys will keep the panties of their..ummm…conquests? Well this is just the opposite; you should keep this for doing the right thing and not sleeping with the loser.”

And with that he took the Slinky and tied it around the lampshade in the corner of the living room. It wasn’t until later that night that we realized it was also a glow in the dark Slinky.