My blog has moved!

You should be automatically redirected in 6 seconds. If not, visit
and update your bookmarks.

New URL! Update Links!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Train Ride to the Complaints Department

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy

Subject: Local Train to the Complaint Department

“Ugh!” Sara says, tossing her bag on the counter as she arrives home. “I hate the MTA.”

“What’d they do now? You get a ticket for having your feet on a seat or something?”

“It was a combination of things really. It just led to a bad day. It started by my 30-day Metrocard running out without me realizing it.”

“So? It happens every 30 days right? How surprising could it be?”

“Well it wouldn’t be a surprise if I’d remember when I bought it, but I forgot to make a note of it, and I guess the month went by faster than I imagined. Some warning would be nice you’d think? Like if you had less than 24 hours left on the card? You listening Billy?”

Billy looks up from watching tv. Huh? Yeah, a warning would be nice I guess. I don’t know, mine doesn’t expire.”

“Well aren’t you just so special! You have to be able to do something at work. Put in a suggestion or something.”

“I’m just a worker bee. I have no more say than you do. I guess the card readers just aren’t set up to display that information. You do know they expire 30 days from first use right? So you can buy a second one anytime and just pull it out of your wallet when the first expires?”

“Really? I didn’t know that.”

“Oh. Well still, a warning would be nice. The thing has to compare the current date to the expiration date, so it wouldn’t hurt to display the difference.”

“Well, the subway often seems no frills. It’s better than a lot of other places though.”

“No frills? Kind of like Billy’s cooking.”

“So I like simple foods. Nothing wrong with that. Why do I need sun-dried tomatoes in my pasta or fancy cheese on my burger?”

“Fancy food can taste good too. Another thing, would it be so hard to allow me to refill my 30-day Metrocard? It wouldn’t have been that big a deal, it only would’ve cost me a minute if the machine had decided to accept my credit card. Of course it decided not to be able to read it.”

“I get that a lot too actually.”

“Did you try a little sugar?”


“Yeah. You know, be nice to it. Treat it well. Maybe you were rude to it and it decided not to accept your card out of spite.”

“So I’m supposed to what? Flirt with it? Oh Metrocard machine, you’re so pretty! Here, let me clean the stray Metrocards off your head. There, isn’t that better?”

“Yeah, that should do it.” Frank says, laughing.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Chocolate Contest

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: They make that in Chocolate?

So one of the chocolate blogs I check in on occasionally is having a contest.”

Chocolate blog? Is it edible?”

“Of course. It’s one of those Harry Potter Chocolates.”

No no. Not a chocolate frog, a blog. Oh forget it.” Sara grumbles.

“We’re just playing with you. What’s the contest?”

It's a Contest to find the strangest chocolate item.”

So what are you going to enter? That nasty bacon chocolate bar you brought home the other day?”

I found that bar through that blog, so no.”

I know that look, you've got something.”

Actually yes. You remember those milk chocolate headless chickens in the can that I found?”

Yeah! Those were weird, but good. I use the can as a change tray now. It's still on my desk.”

I can't find the product on their website anymore. I don't think they make them. I did find Chocolate Squashed Hedgehogs though.”

Eww! What's wrong with these people?”

Well, they're British.”

Oh! Well that explains it doesn't it?”

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Are You One?! Are You Two?! Are You Twenty-Six?!

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Are You One?! Are You Two?! Are You Twenty-Six?!

(Events of last weekend. I know our posts are lagging.)

Rosemarie: “..dear Billy! Happy Birthday to you! Now make a wish.”

Billy grins a very evil grin and blows out his candles.

Well what did you wish for?”

There's always someone that has to ask that. You can't tell or it won't come true!” Sara frowns at Tabitha.

Would you believe me if I said cake?”


John(7th Floor): “What kind of cake is that? It looks good.”

It's a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake.”

John: “Awesome, lets get eating!”

Will you do the honors and cut the cake Frank?”

Sure. If you get me another beer.” Frank takes the last swig out of his beer bottle, holds it up and wiggles it at Tabitha, and then tosses it towards the bin of empties near the kitchen. His coordination not what it was earlier in the evening, it misses, bounces off the edge of the counter and shatters on the floor in front of the fridge.

Nice shot Shaq.”

And that's why we don't throw glass bottles in the apartment. You'll have to wait for your beer until I clean this up now.”

Fine, but then I'm not cutting the cake.”

Just going to let it melt into a mess?”

And what If I am?”

Rosemarie: “I'll cut it.”

You don't have to.”

Rosemarie: “I don't mind. Scott's salivating is disturbing anyway.”

Scott snaps his jaw shut. “It's such a good cake.” He whines.

John: “Nothing wrong with a little drool. Happy Birthday Billy!”

Drool. Just what I always wanted!”

Sara is helping Rosemarie, taking the candles off the cake. “Who's idea was it to put fire on an ice cream cake? It's just going to melt faster.”

What if Billy wished for his ice cream to never melt?”

Then I imagine he'd be pretty disappointed.”

Rosemarie: “Okay sugar, here's the first piece.”

Oooh, me next!” Scott says, taking the next piece of cake when Rosemarie puts it on a plate.

Frank runs by and snatches it out of his hands. “Nah nah na nah nah!”

Thief! Felon! Rogue!”

Oooh, nice synonyms there. Did Starbucks print a dictionary on the back of the cups this month?”

No. The Akeela and the Bee cups are long gone.” Scott says, sticking out his tongue at Sara.

Hey Frank! I've got your beer here! Beer! Ice Cold Beer!” Ann shouts across the room, holding the beer by the stem and waving it at Frank.

Frank turns to look, and as he does, Mike accidentally bumps into Ann and she drops the bottle. It cracks as it hits the hard floor, and the beer spills out into a puddle.

Frank grins. “Ha! At least mine was empty. Alcohol abuse!” As Frank is distracted by the mess, Scott steals his piece of cake back.

Mike: “Sorry Ann, but boy, you guys really are a bit clumsy aren't you?”

Ann glares at Mike and he gets the hint and walks away to mingle with someone else.

Ann cleans up the mess, and the night winds on. The cake is served and eaten, and Billy opens his presents happily, enjoying the surprises. Lots of booze gets consumed, and before long people are slurring “Goo-Night, Haapy Birthday Bill!” and stumbling back to their own floors and apartments. Billy and Rosemarie are cuddled on the coach, just zoning out. Frank and Scott have a different sports highlight show on each tv, and Tabitha has fallen asleep at the table amidst the empty beer bottles that didn't make it into the bin. Ann and Sara are cleaning up the kitchen, except they both are having trouble standing.

Great party tonight. We should do this again don't you think?”

Well, You and Frank both having birthdays next month right? I guess we could do this again.”

Yeah lets. I bet nothing goes well with turning 24 like an Abita Purple Haze.”

Purple beer? That'd be pretty nasty if you drank too much.”

Ugh! Why is your first thought after beer, vomit?”

Could be because I feel like I had too many beers. Or just that purple beer sounds nauseating.”

Maybe we should stop sponging.”

Sponging? That sounds naughty.”

Lucky Scott wasn't paying attention then. I meant we should stop No more sponge. Just bed.”

Bed sounds mighty awesome. Did you know a sponge supposedly isn't three dimensional? It's only like 2.83 dimensions or something.”

Huh? What the hell are you talking about?”

No! Really! I went to this lecture about dimensions once. There are supposed to be 11 I think, but most of them are on the microscopic level.”

Ann groans and grabs onto the counter. “I think the rum in my tummy isn't agreeing with your physics talk. Too complicated for such a smooth and simple beverage.”

Okay okay. Chemistry then?”

No! All I know about chemistry is that the chemistry of my blood contains lots of booze and I need to lay down. Goodnight everyone!” Ann shouts, startling Billy and Rosemarie. They follow Ann's lead and slowly rise and head to bed. Sara walks over to Frank and Scott and sits down.

So how did the Braves and Phils do tonight?”

(Is the occasional mention of random bit people confusing? I've mentioned Mike and John before, but should I put in more information about them when I post, at least to remind everyone who they are? Feel free to comment or email us if anything is confusing or you have an idea about how to make anything more clear)

Monday, August 20, 2007

Birthday Presents

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Tabitha and Scott.

Subject: Billy's Birthday Present

Me and Tabitha were milling around the apartment when someone knocked at the door. We don't get a lot of visitors at lunch time on a Friday, so we were wondering who it could be. Tabitha was closer, and less lazy, and answered the door. On the other side was a woman we'd never seen before.

Umm. Hi. Can we help you?”

“Yes, hi. I'm Rosemarie.”

Billy's Rosemarie?”

“I like to think of myself as my own Rosemarie, but yes, I'm dating Billy.”

It's nice to meet you, although I didn't expect to meet you until tomorrow night at the party. Billy said you were coming right?”

“Yup, I'll be here. That's actually the reason I stopped by. We've only been dating a little while and I'd really like to get him something for his birthday, but I really have no idea what would be good.”

Well you came to the right place! Come in! Sit down! Can Ann get you a drink?”

We sat and discussed what to get Billy. We ruled out anything shopping related, gift cards and the like. We came up with a couple of options, and settled on Rainbow 6: Las Vegas for the Playstation 3. Billy had been meaning to buy it for a while, and hadn't gotten around to it. That's when Scott came home.

Hey guys. Look what I got for Billy. That new video game he's been wanting.”

“Aww shit!”

What a greating! I feel so welcome here.”

Scott squints at Rosemarie. “Who's this gal? She doesn't look like Sara.”

Scott, this is Rosemarie, Billy's girlfriend.”

Is the party now? I thought it was tomorrow night? The beer isn't in the fridge yet, Tabitha said I had to leave room for regular food until tomorrow night.”

Well you left chicken and the milk on the counter so you could put the growlers on the top shelf.”

You know warm beer just isn't as good.”

“I think that's my cue to leave. I'll have to go with one of the other items we discussed. Thanks for all the help!”

To Scott, “Save me some of that beer!”

Nice to meet you! See you tomorrow!”

Rosemarie leaves.

So she seems nice.”

Yeah, definitely.”

She had me at 'Aww shit!'”

Thursday, August 16, 2007


Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy

Subject: Billy's New Squeeze

Billy, where are you going?”


Out? I thought we were having dinner in tonight?”

I already told Ann I wouldn't be here.”

You're going out and skipping dinner? Don't lie to me.”

I'm not, I'm going out to dinner.”


Why would I eat alone when I could have the pleasure of your company?”

You better not all be going out to dinner without me. That'd just be mean!”

That's not it. I'm sure they'll be here soon. I have to go.” Billy walks out and passes Ann, Sara and Tabitha on the way in.

Billy's not eating with us.”

I know, he told me.”

Well why not? What's he doing?”

He's eating with Rosemarie.”

And who is Rosemarie? You guys are all being particularly exasperating!”

Now you know how we feel most of the time.”

I'm not exasperating! Who's Rosemarie and why is Billy eating with her instead of us?”

Rosemarie is his girlfriend, and I imagine he's eating with her because he's hungry and it's dinnertime.”

Girlfriend? Since when does he have a girlfriend? Why am I always the last one to find out these things?”

Maybe it's your completely absurd hours. Sometimes it's hard to catch you when we're both awake to tell you anything.”

And by the time we see you again we've forgotten that you don't know whatever it is that you don't know.”

Well gee thanks. Have you guys met her?”

I met her, but only by accident. I ran into them having lunch one day. I'm the only one. He says he'll bring her around sooner or later though.”

Well I'll have to bug him about it later then. Any other secrets you need to reveal before dinner?”

The Geico caveman evolved and moved out of their cave and into a tent.”

That's a big step for them!”

Dinner will be ready in a little bit, and Scott should be home by then. Sound good?”

Definitely, I'm starving! So this Rosemarie girl, she hot?”

Sara rolls her eyes and ignores Frank.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

A Pirate's Life

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Water Water Everywhere, but not a Drop to Drink

Where is everyone? I thought we were drinking tonight?” Scott asks as he walks into the living room.

They went to see Stardust.”

Stardust? I'm not even sure I know what that is. Why aren't we drinking again?”

I don't know either. I thought it was a casino. Ann did say they'd drink when they got back. They went to an 8:00 showing I think.”

I thought that casino closed down? It's only 8:15. I guess it won't be too late to drink when they get in.”

Well...I did buy this bottle of rum thinking we'd be drinking all evening. We might as well open it up and taste it right?”

Look at it sitting there on the counter. You can't just leave it there alone!”

It wouldn't be fair to the rum. You're right; grab two glasses.”

Woah! What are you doing with the coke?”

Rum and coke? Have you heard of it?”

Coke? Don't be a sissy. This a good bottle of rum, let's skip the mixers.”

Shots then? We'll be drunk and passed out before they get back. They'll probably paint mustaches on us when they see us.”

No, I was thinking of just pouring a glass of it and actually enjoying the flavor of the liquor.”

Oh. Okay, I don't think I've ever had rum like that.”

If you don't like it, we'll add some coke. Come on, we might as well watch the game too.”

Wow, the Yankees are doing good again. I thought Fausto Carmona was a good pitcher?”

No one can stop the Yankees lately.”

This rum isn't bad. It's got a little bit of a kick though.”

Add a splash of coke then. It'll soften the kick a little bit, but a splash won't obscure the nice taste.”

Much better. See? All empty.” Scott says, holding up his glass.

Fill it up then. Might as well enjoy it while it's fresh.”



Couldn't wait huh?” Ann says, holding up the bottle of rum.

Yo Ho Ho! And a bottle of ruuummm.” Scott slurs.

I don't think you'd make a good pirate. There is no way either of you could sail in this condition.”

How would you know? I might be an excellent sailor!”

Are you?”

I don't remember. Maybe a small boat?”

I could sail!” Scott tries to make the steering motion and trips on the edge of the couch.

Billy laughs. “You've got the sea-legs down at least.”

Since they drank all the rum, I'm fine with not drinking tonight. We can save it up and drink extra next weekend for Billy's birthday.”

That's right! It's Billy's birthday! You want help planning something Tab?”

I'd love to run the ideas I've had past you. Really nail down the details.”

Hey, don't I get any input?”

Nope. Just don't make other plans for next Saturday.” it. Are we at least going to have dinner on my actual birthday on Thursday?”

I guess we can concede that, what do you think Ann?”

Sure, but I don't think Tabitha is going to let you pick the place.”

That's fine, I like surprises. Looking forward to it.” Billy winks and walks back to his room.

Chuckie Cheese?”

Ann looks at Tabitha. “Are we letting her help now?”

I'm not sure I'm over the pineapple debacle yet.”

Oh come on! That could've happened to anyone.”

There were fruit flies everywhere! It was like a biblical plague.”

We got rid of them.”

Okay, you can help, but we're keeping you away from the food.”

Fair enough.”

Thursday, August 9, 2007


Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Frank, Scott.

Subject: Stripes

14, corner pocket. Anyone want to do something tomorrow night? I'm off.”

Not me. The Braves are in town and I'm headed to the game right after work.”

11 in the side. Ahh, well have fun. Anyone else?” The 11 ball misses slightly, bouncing away.

4, in this corner. I'm busy too. I entered an online poker tournament tomorrow night.”

Nice shot. I'm on the late shift tomorrow night so unless you want to hang around Starbucks, I'm out.”

5, corner by you. Tabitha's home in Connecticut with her parents all week.”

Maybe..” Frank pauses as he watches his ball slow, willing it to have enough energy to reach the pocket.

Didn't quite have the strength on that one did you?”

I blocked the pocket at least.” Frank says, putting chalk on his cue stick.

What were you saying? 15 in the corner.”

No way you're making that shot. Maybe Billy will do something tomorrow night.”

Guess you were wrong.” Sara says, as Ann's shot caroms off the seven ball and into the pocket. “Excellent shot!”

Lucky shot! Now what are you going to do?”

I smell a wager! The intensity! The trash talking!”

A wager? What is it this time?”

The usual.” Ann replies, watching her next shot go bad, causing the cue ball to drop into a pocket.

Aha! Ball in hand! Don't expect to see this again!” Frank teases, as he retrieves the white ball from the pocket.

What's the usual?”

Waiter service when we drink this weekend. Loser has to make or fetch all of my drinks.”

I think you mean Waitress service.” Frank says, as he sinks the first of his remaining three balls.

You still have more balls than I do.”

Well you don't have any balls Ann.”

Crude Scott. Very crude. I wasn't aware we were drinking this weekend, we have plans?”

1 ball in the side. Don't we always drink? Billy had mentioned some place in midtown, I guess we could try that.”

Midtown? As long as it's not too far, I always fall asleep on the ride home when we venture too far from home. Wow, lucky break!” Scott says, watching Frank's ball bounce off his other ball and land in the wrong pocket.

You caught up, but it's my shot now; all lined up.” Ann says gesturing to her last remaining stripe sitting in front of one corner, and the eight ball sitting right in front of the corner next to it.

Shit! Best two out of three?”

That was the third game Frank. Come on, lets go. I have to get to work tomorrow.”

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Ann's Dinner Note

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Scott.

Subject: Ann's Dinner Note

When I got home today there was a meatball hero sitting on the counter with a note from Ann.

I bought myself a meatball hero from that sub shop down the block. I was all set to eat it when I got a call from an old friend inviting me to lunch. I figured it would be rude to eat lunch before going to lunch, so I didn't eat the sub. I don't think food tastes as good reheated, so I'm leaving this note for you so that one of you can eat it. I assume this will mean Billy or Scott, but whoever comes home hungry first can have it. I think it's 50/50 on whether Scott is intrigued enough by the smell of tomato sauce to actually read this note. Tabitha, I haven't seen my friend in a long time and I don't have to work tonight so there is a chance we stay out after lunch. And Frank, because I know you're going to ask; 'Yes Joe, it's toasted'.

For the record, I was intrigued, and hungry. The sub is now comfortably in my stomach.