Today's contributors are: Sara, Frank
Subject: Bagel Statistics
It's early morning and Sara is up to have breakfast before going to work and Frank is still up from spending the night gambling and watching cartoons.
“What have we got to eat around here?”
“I picked up bagels yesterday. I think there is a French toast in there.”
“Yesterday? Bagels are only at 85% quality when they're a day old.”
“You could always toast it.”
“Toasted bagels are always a flat 70% quality.”
“Unless it's a frozen or non-New York bagel.”
“Well yeah, then toasting actually improves it, but it's still around 60-70%.”
“Why would you eat a non-New York bagel anyway?”
“We didn't have a whole lot of choice down in South Carolina. I barely remember what breakfast was like before I came up here and could have bagels everyday.”
“Probably healthier.”
“I wouldn't go that far. Southern food is anything but healthy.”
“What do you figure, bagels degrade exponentially?”
“Yeah. You figure it's around 85% after one day, but I'd say it drops to almost 60% by the day after, and becomes an almost inedible 25% by that third day.”
“That's why we freeze them after the first day or so.”
“Yup, it's just logical. Once the quality of the bagel drops closer to the toasted quality, you might as well freeze them to preserve them.”
“I really like frozen salt bagels after a day of sitting. The salt melts a little, and then you toast them and make them nice and warm, and salty without being overpoweringly salty.”
“And the toasting keeps them from being mushy from the melted salt, yeah.”
“Often a good topping, be it salt or everything or poppy can boost a bagel an extra 5% or so.”
“Yeah, that's true. A bad bagel is made worse when it's a plain bagel with no other flavor to hide behind. That's why I wish I could find a place that makes good chocolate cream cheese.”
“Chocolate? I've only seen chocolate chip, but I've always assumed it's way too sweet for a bagel.”
“They are. The chocolate taste is nice, but it's too sweet, they need to use dark chocolate or cocoa powder or something. I gotta go now, enjoy your day, or night, or whatever you're up to.”
“Don't work too hard.”
“Oh, I won't.”