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Showing posts with label Alcohol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alcohol. Show all posts

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Are You One?! Are You Two?! Are You Twenty-Six?!

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Are You One?! Are You Two?! Are You Twenty-Six?!

(Events of last weekend. I know our posts are lagging.)

Rosemarie: “..dear Billy! Happy Birthday to you! Now make a wish.”


Billy grins a very evil grin and blows out his candles.


Well what did you wish for?”


There's always someone that has to ask that. You can't tell or it won't come true!” Sara frowns at Tabitha.


Would you believe me if I said cake?”


Probably.”

John(7th Floor): “What kind of cake is that? It looks good.”


It's a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake.”


John: “Awesome, lets get eating!”


Will you do the honors and cut the cake Frank?”


Sure. If you get me another beer.” Frank takes the last swig out of his beer bottle, holds it up and wiggles it at Tabitha, and then tosses it towards the bin of empties near the kitchen. His coordination not what it was earlier in the evening, it misses, bounces off the edge of the counter and shatters on the floor in front of the fridge.


Nice shot Shaq.”


And that's why we don't throw glass bottles in the apartment. You'll have to wait for your beer until I clean this up now.”


Fine, but then I'm not cutting the cake.”


Just going to let it melt into a mess?”


And what If I am?”


Rosemarie: “I'll cut it.”


You don't have to.”


Rosemarie: “I don't mind. Scott's salivating is disturbing anyway.”


Scott snaps his jaw shut. “It's such a good cake.” He whines.


John: “Nothing wrong with a little drool. Happy Birthday Billy!”


Drool. Just what I always wanted!”


Sara is helping Rosemarie, taking the candles off the cake. “Who's idea was it to put fire on an ice cream cake? It's just going to melt faster.”


What if Billy wished for his ice cream to never melt?”


Then I imagine he'd be pretty disappointed.”


Rosemarie: “Okay sugar, here's the first piece.”


Oooh, me next!” Scott says, taking the next piece of cake when Rosemarie puts it on a plate.


Frank runs by and snatches it out of his hands. “Nah nah na nah nah!”


Thief! Felon! Rogue!”


Oooh, nice synonyms there. Did Starbucks print a dictionary on the back of the cups this month?”


No. The Akeela and the Bee cups are long gone.” Scott says, sticking out his tongue at Sara.


Hey Frank! I've got your beer here! Beer! Ice Cold Beer!” Ann shouts across the room, holding the beer by the stem and waving it at Frank.


Frank turns to look, and as he does, Mike accidentally bumps into Ann and she drops the bottle. It cracks as it hits the hard floor, and the beer spills out into a puddle.


Frank grins. “Ha! At least mine was empty. Alcohol abuse!” As Frank is distracted by the mess, Scott steals his piece of cake back.


Mike: “Sorry Ann, but boy, you guys really are a bit clumsy aren't you?”


Ann glares at Mike and he gets the hint and walks away to mingle with someone else.


Ann cleans up the mess, and the night winds on. The cake is served and eaten, and Billy opens his presents happily, enjoying the surprises. Lots of booze gets consumed, and before long people are slurring “Goo-Night, Haapy Birthday Bill!” and stumbling back to their own floors and apartments. Billy and Rosemarie are cuddled on the coach, just zoning out. Frank and Scott have a different sports highlight show on each tv, and Tabitha has fallen asleep at the table amidst the empty beer bottles that didn't make it into the bin. Ann and Sara are cleaning up the kitchen, except they both are having trouble standing.


Great party tonight. We should do this again don't you think?”


Well, You and Frank both having birthdays next month right? I guess we could do this again.”


Yeah lets. I bet nothing goes well with turning 24 like an Abita Purple Haze.”


Purple beer? That'd be pretty nasty if you drank too much.”


Ugh! Why is your first thought after beer, vomit?”


Could be because I feel like I had too many beers. Or just that purple beer sounds nauseating.”


Maybe we should stop sponging.”


Sponging? That sounds naughty.”


Lucky Scott wasn't paying attention then. I meant we should stop this..cleaning. No more sponge. Just bed.”


Bed sounds mighty awesome. Did you know a sponge supposedly isn't three dimensional? It's only like 2.83 dimensions or something.”


Huh? What the hell are you talking about?”


No! Really! I went to this lecture about dimensions once. There are supposed to be 11 I think, but most of them are on the microscopic level.”


Ann groans and grabs onto the counter. “I think the rum in my tummy isn't agreeing with your physics talk. Too complicated for such a smooth and simple beverage.”


Okay okay. Chemistry then?”


No! All I know about chemistry is that the chemistry of my blood contains lots of booze and I need to lay down. Goodnight everyone!” Ann shouts, startling Billy and Rosemarie. They follow Ann's lead and slowly rise and head to bed. Sara walks over to Frank and Scott and sits down.


So how did the Braves and Phils do tonight?”



(Is the occasional mention of random bit people confusing? I've mentioned Mike and John before, but should I put in more information about them when I post, at least to remind everyone who they are? Feel free to comment or email us if anything is confusing or you have an idea about how to make anything more clear)

Friday, June 1, 2007

The Party From Hell

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann , Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Party from Hell


So why do we have to go to this party?”


Because they're new in the building and it can't hurt to welcome them in and make new friends can it? Isn't that how we met Sue and Amy when we moved in?”


Amy and Sue are hot though.”


What are their names?”


Jack and Cinthia. The party's at John's, on the 7th floor, who you should know.”


John's the guy with the daughter who sells girl scout cookies right?”


'Figures that's what you remember about him. Thin mints.”


I think my stomach has a better memory than my brain sometimes.”


We're here. Hi John!”


John: “Hi guys! Come on in!”


Hello. So you have any thin mints hiding anywhere?”


John: “Nope, sorry Billy.”


Lets say hello to Jack and Cinthia and then find a corner to hang out in.”


Sounds good.”


So we do just that, and find ourselves a spot near the window out of the way.


I'll go get us some drinks, come help me carry Tabitha.”


So Jack seems nice. What was it he said he did?”


Something about trade..or commerce. Shipping? I don't know. Frank?”


What? Oh..I wasn't listening, sorry.”


Whatever it was, it was boring.”


We've got a dire situation, we have to go.”


Go? What's the matter?”


Nothing, he's just upset because they have no alcohol.”


No booze?! Lets go.”


We can't go, we just got here. You'll live without a drink.”


Drinks are the only way I can get through party's like this. There is nothing more boring than a party with casual acquaintances.”


Look, lets get some soda, wander around and talk to everyone, and then we can politely leave, with everyone having remembered talking to us.”


Fine. We already talked to Jack and Cinthia, so let's talk to the others.” Billy looks over to the rest of the people. “Mike! Come here!”


Mike: “Hi guys, what's up? Nice to see you.”


So how are you Mike? What are you up to lately? How's work? Good? Great. We're all fine, normal stuff. Tabitha did great on her finals, is thinking about waitressing for the summer for some money. Isn't that wonderful? Okay, you can go now, nice talking to you Mike.”


Mike: “Uhhh..umm..I..Terrific! Nice seeing you!”


Mike walks away confused.


That doesn't count! Be nice!”


Do we even like these people?”


About as much as fruit salad.”


Fruit Salad?”


Not a bad dessert, but not quite what you're looking for.”


Sara groans and flicks Scott's ear. “That wasn't funny.”


Come on, lets go get some soda and talk to some people. We can worry about leaving later.”


Oh fine, lets go.”


Brett: “Hey 6th Floorers, how's life treating you down there?”


A hell of a lot better then being on the 14th floor. I can't imagine having to wait for the elevator all the time to get up that high.”


Brett: “The view from my bedroom is so worth it!”


Not as good as the view in Ann's bedroom I bet.” Scott says with a wink.


Ann punches Scott. “You've never seen the view, so how would you know?”


Henry: “Ann! Good to see you! You written anything lately?”


I've been writing in our blog, but other than that nothing since we were helping each other out last year.”


Henry: “Yeah, why did we stop doing that anyway? I've been too busy to get much writing done since then either.”


We stopped because Carol got jealous that you'd meet me once a week.”


Henry: “Oh. Right.”


Where did Scott go?”


He was right here a second ago.”


He better not have left!”


I'll go check the hall for him.”


Aha, no! You stay right here. No sneaking out.”


But it's so boring! And the soda's not even name brand!”


Oh woe is you. You have to drink a White Rock cola instead of a Coke. The world's going to come to an end.”


How do you know it won't?”


I'm a college student remember? I know everything.”


Come on, lets go talk to Jack and Cinthia some more, make them feel welcome.”


Ugh, could there be more boring people on the face of the earth?”


Cinthia: “Who's boring?”


These two guys I work with. They drone on and on about nothing. It's a pain to have to work with them.”


Cinthia: “I understand, everyone can't be as exciting as me!”


Yeah, I guess I should just be thankful that everyone is not as boring as them.”


As Cinthia walks away, Tabitha whispers to Billy. “Nice save there.”


Wouldn't want them hating us right off the bat. We should give them at least a month for that.”


Maybe even two months.”


We mingled for a little while longer, and then slipped out as some other people arrived. Scott was already asleep on the couch watching television when we got back downstairs.