Are You One?! Are You Two?! Are You Twenty-Six?!

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Are You One?! Are You Two?! Are You Twenty-Six?!

(Events of last weekend. I know our posts are lagging.)

Rosemarie: “..dear Billy! Happy Birthday to you! Now make a wish.”

Billy grins a very evil grin and blows out his candles.

“Well what did you wish for?”

“There's always someone that has to ask that. You can't tell or it won't come true!” Sara frowns at Tabitha.

“Would you believe me if I said cake?”

“Probably.”

John(7^th Floor): “What kind of cake is that? It looks good.”

“It's a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake.”

John: “Awesome, lets get eating!”

“Will you do the honors and cut the cake Frank?”

“Sure. If you get me another beer.” Frank takes the last swig out of his beer bottle, holds it up and wiggles it at Tabitha, and then tosses it towards the bin of empties near the kitchen. His coordination not what it was earlier in the evening, it misses, bounces off the edge of the counter and shatters on the floor in front of the fridge.

“Nice shot Shaq.”

“And that's why we don't throw glass bottles in the apartment. You'll have to wait for your beer until I clean this up now.”

“Fine, but then I'm not cutting the cake.”

“Just going to let it melt into a mess?”

“And what If I am?”

Rosemarie: “I'll cut it.”

“You don't have to.”

Rosemarie: “I don't mind. Scott's salivating is disturbing anyway.”

Scott snaps his jaw shut. “It's such a good cake.” He whines.

John: “Nothing wrong with a little drool. Happy Birthday Billy!”

“Drool. Just what I always wanted!”

Sara is helping Rosemarie, taking the candles off the cake. “Who's idea was it to put fire on an ice cream cake? It's just going to melt faster.”

“What if Billy wished for his ice cream to never melt?”

“Then I imagine he'd be pretty disappointed.”

Rosemarie: “Okay sugar, here's the first piece.”

“Oooh, me next!” Scott says, taking the next piece of cake when Rosemarie puts it on a plate.

Frank runs by and snatches it out of his hands. “Nah nah na nah nah!”

“Thief! Felon! Rogue!”

“Oooh, nice synonyms there. Did Starbucks print a dictionary on the back of the cups this month?”

“No. The Akeela and the Bee cups are long gone.” Scott says, sticking out his tongue at Sara.

“Hey Frank! I've got your beer here! Beer! Ice Cold Beer!” Ann shouts across the room, holding the beer by the stem and waving it at Frank.

Frank turns to look, and as he does, Mike accidentally bumps into Ann and she drops the bottle. It cracks as it hits the hard floor, and the beer spills out into a puddle.

Frank grins. “Ha! At least mine was empty. Alcohol abuse!” As Frank is distracted by the mess, Scott steals his piece of cake back.

Mike: “Sorry Ann, but boy, you guys really are a bit clumsy aren't you?”

Ann glares at Mike and he gets the hint and walks away to mingle with someone else.

Ann cleans up the mess, and the night winds on. The cake is served and eaten, and Billy opens his presents happily, enjoying the surprises. Lots of booze gets consumed, and before long people are slurring “Goo-Night, Haapy Birthday Bill!” and stumbling back to their own floors and apartments. Billy and Rosemarie are cuddled on the coach, just zoning out. Frank and Scott have a different sports highlight show on each tv, and Tabitha has fallen asleep at the table amidst the empty beer bottles that didn't make it into the bin. Ann and Sara are cleaning up the kitchen, except they both are having trouble standing.

“Great party tonight. We should do this again don't you think?”

“Well, You and Frank both having birthdays next month right? I guess we could do this again.”

“Yeah lets. I bet nothing goes well with turning 24 like an Abita Purple Haze.”

“Purple beer? That'd be pretty nasty if you drank too much.”

“Ugh! Why is your first thought after beer, vomit?”

“Could be because I feel like I had too many beers. Or just that purple beer sounds nauseating.”

“Maybe we should stop sponging.”

“Sponging? That sounds naughty.”

“Lucky Scott wasn't paying attention then. I meant we should stop this..cleaning. No more sponge. Just bed.”

“Bed sounds mighty awesome. Did you know a sponge supposedly isn't three dimensional? It's only like 2.83 dimensions or something.”

“Huh? What the hell are you talking about?”

“No! Really! I went to this lecture about dimensions once. There are supposed to be 11 I think, but most of them are on the microscopic level.”

Ann groans and grabs onto the counter. “I think the rum in my tummy isn't agreeing with your physics talk. Too complicated for such a smooth and simple beverage.”

“Okay okay. Chemistry then?”

“No! All I know about chemistry is that the chemistry of my blood contains lots of booze and I need to lay down. Goodnight everyone!” Ann shouts, startling Billy and Rosemarie. They follow Ann's lead and slowly rise and head to bed. Sara walks over to Frank and Scott and sits down.

“So how did the Braves and Phils do tonight?”

(Is the occasional mention of random bit people confusing? I've mentioned Mike and John before, but should I put in more information about them when I post, at least to remind everyone who they are? Feel free to comment or email us if anything is confusing or you have an idea about how to make anything more clear)

The Newest Member Of The Family

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Sara, Tabitha, Frank and Scott.

Subject: The newest member of the family

“Another run? This is absurd!”

“Another run! Keep it coming!”

“Woah, where'd that second tv come from?” Scott asks, indicating the new flat screen tv sitting in the corner.

“Best Buy apparently. We were obviously lost without having a second tv in the living room, so Frank there just ran right out and picked it up for us.” Tabitha says sarcastically, looking up from the book she's reading.

“Isn't it great? It's a 37 inch LCD HDTV. Don't the Yankees look great on it?”

“That is pretty nice. Our old tv has HD too doesn't it? Why aren't you using it?”

“SNY doesn't have HD for most of the away games yet, they're still working on it.”

“Pathetic isn't it?”

“Relax, it's only the station's second year. They'll get there. I prefer it to Al-Yankzeera over there anyway.”

“Calm down you two, or I'll have to separate you! You're fighting more now than when you were fighting over the one set.”

“It's only because Frank keeps raising the volume. You know how Michael Kay's voice makes me sick.”

“And listening to Keith Hernandez talk about all the birds in the outfield in Detroit is so much better?”

“Wow, that is a lot of birds. Why are there so many birds on the field? Is this little league?”

“Apparently Comerica Park is now an aviary.”

“Maybe they should change their name from the Detroit Tigers to the Detroit Gulls.”

“Detroit Gulls just doesn't have the right ring to it. That'd be more like a WNBA team name or something.”

“Detroit already has a WNBA team actually, and it's not 'Gulls', it's the Detroit Shock.”

“Shock? What kind of name is that? Is their logo one of those warning stickers for electronics that warn of electric shock?”

“That would be a pretty cool logo I think!”

“Gulls is probably more of a minor league sounding team. The Mets do have a minor league affiliate called the Savannah Sand Gnats,

Gulls would be better than that.”

“Most definitely, although I don't think you can have a worse name than the New York Red Bulls. Being named after an energy drink has to be one of the worse forms of product placement.”

“Red Bull gives you wings!”

“We'll see if the wings help them win their game today against DC United.”

“Wow, do you actually follow soccer Frank?”

“Nah, I happened to read a blurb somewhere that said who they were playing. I did notice they're doing pretty well this year. I think they're in first place.”

“You know what we should do? We've gotta hook up something to both tv's and get a game going. Rainbow six or something. Is the new Vegas version out yet?”

“It's out for everything except PS3, which it's supposed to be released for sometime soon.”

“It's cross platform compatible right? We can get one for the X-Box and one for the Playstation and play each other?”

“I think so. We'll have to check before we buy it.”

“That would probably be pretty cool on these flat screens. You'd have to angle them a little bit so you couldn't see what the other person was doing though.”

“Well of course, you know Scott's a cheater.”

“Cheating at 'Go Fish!' doesn't count!”

“'Go Fish!' What were you playing that for? Are you six?”

“It was Jack's idea.”

“Jack? The guy that lives on the 7^th floor?”

“Jack as in Daniels. Lots of him.”

Tabitha just rolls her eyes. “I should have known.”

The Party From Hell

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann , Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Party from Hell

“So why do we have to go to this party?”

“Because they're new in the building and it can't hurt to welcome them in and make new friends can it? Isn't that how we met Sue and Amy when we moved in?”

“Amy and Sue are hot though.”

“What are their names?”

“Jack and Cinthia. The party's at John's, on the 7^th floor, who you should know.”

“John's the guy with the daughter who sells girl scout cookies right?”

“'Figures that's what you remember about him. Thin mints.”

“I think my stomach has a better memory than my brain sometimes.”

“We're here. Hi John!”

John: “Hi guys! Come on in!”

“Hello. So you have any thin mints hiding anywhere?”

John: “Nope, sorry Billy.”

“Lets say hello to Jack and Cinthia and then find a corner to hang out in.”

“Sounds good.”

So we do just that, and find ourselves a spot near the window out of the way.

“I'll go get us some drinks, come help me carry Tabitha.”

“So Jack seems nice. What was it he said he did?”

“Something about trade..or commerce. Shipping? I don't know. Frank?”

“What? Oh..I wasn't listening, sorry.”

“Whatever it was, it was boring.”

“We've got a dire situation, we have to go.”

“Go? What's the matter?”

“Nothing, he's just upset because they have no alcohol.”

“No booze?! Lets go.”

“We can't go, we just got here. You'll live without a drink.”

“Drinks are the only way I can get through party's like this. There is nothing more boring than a party with casual acquaintances.”

“Look, lets get some soda, wander around and talk to everyone, and then we can politely leave, with everyone having remembered talking to us.”

“Fine. We already talked to Jack and Cinthia, so let's talk to the others.” Billy looks over to the rest of the people. “Mike! Come here!”

Mike: “Hi guys, what's up? Nice to see you.”

“So how are you Mike? What are you up to lately? How's work? Good? Great. We're all fine, normal stuff. Tabitha did great on her finals, is thinking about waitressing for the summer for some money. Isn't that wonderful? Okay, you can go now, nice talking to you Mike.”

Mike: “Uhhh..umm..I..Terrific! Nice seeing you!”

Mike walks away confused.

“That doesn't count! Be nice!”

“Do we even like these people?”

“About as much as fruit salad.”

“Fruit Salad?”

“Not a bad dessert, but not quite what you're looking for.”

Sara groans and flicks Scott's ear. “That wasn't funny.”

“Come on, lets go get some soda and talk to some people. We can worry about leaving later.”

“Oh fine, lets go.”

Brett: “Hey 6^th Floorers, how's life treating you down there?”

“A hell of a lot better then being on the 14^th floor. I can't imagine having to wait for the elevator all the time to get up that high.”

Brett: “The view from my bedroom is so worth it!”

“Not as good as the view in Ann's bedroom I bet.” Scott says with a wink.

Ann punches Scott. “You've never seen the view, so how would you know?”

Henry: “Ann! Good to see you! You written anything lately?”

“I've been writing in our blog, but other than that nothing since we were helping each other out last year.”

Henry: “Yeah, why did we stop doing that anyway? I've been too busy to get much writing done since then either.”

“We stopped because Carol got jealous that you'd meet me once a week.”

Henry: “Oh. Right.”

“Where did Scott go?”

“He was right here a second ago.”

“He better not have left!”

“I'll go check the hall for him.”

“Aha, no! You stay right here. No sneaking out.”

“But it's so boring! And the soda's not even name brand!”

“Oh woe is you. You have to drink a White Rock cola instead of a Coke. The world's going to come to an end.”

“How do you know it won't?”

“I'm a college student remember? I know everything.”

“Come on, lets go talk to Jack and Cinthia some more, make them feel welcome.”

“Ugh, could there be more boring people on the face of the earth?”

Cinthia: “Who's boring?”

“These two guys I work with. They drone on and on about nothing. It's a pain to have to work with them.”

Cinthia: “I understand, everyone can't be as exciting as me!”

“Yeah, I guess I should just be thankful that everyone is not as boring as them.”

As Cinthia walks away, Tabitha whispers to Billy. “Nice save there.”

“Wouldn't want them hating us right off the bat. We should give them at least a month for that.”

“Maybe even two months.”

We mingled for a little while longer, and then slipped out as some other people arrived. Scott was already asleep on the couch watching television when we got back downstairs.

Neon Green Slinky

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Tabitha, Scott

Subject: The Neon Green Slinky

The first time anyone sees our apartment the first thing they ask is always the same.

“What’s with the Neon Green Slinky?”

The Slinky once belonged to Jeffrey, a guy from school I went on a date with once. He knocked on the door, and when I opened it he said “Hey, watch this,” walked over to the stairs, and proceeded to take out the slinky and set it in motion. I introduced him to everybody and then the three of us, Me, Jeffrey and the Slinky, went down the stairs and out the door.

I thought it was just a weird icebreaker type thing until we got to dinner and he kept playing with it. He had it slinking from the table to his chair, from hand to hand and on every step-like surface he could find. We stopped twice on the way back so he could try it out on two different sets of stairs.

When we got back to the apartment, I wasn’t sure what to do. I definitely didn’t want to invite him back up, but when I stopped at my door he didn’t even pause before going in and up the stairs. He got up all the stairs before me, and when I reached the landing he was watching the Slinky descend from the 7^th floor. I said goodnight and walked in, but much to my dismay, he followed me. I walked into my room to put my bag down, and he finally decided to pay attention to me. He put the Slinky down and kissed me. When I didn’t kiss him back and told him I was tired and I would see him in class tomorrow he got angry with me and stormed off without his Slinky.

When I recounted it to the others the next day and showed them the Slinky, Scott had an idea.

“You know how in the movies guys will keep the panties of their..ummm…conquests? Well this is just the opposite; you should keep this for doing the right thing and not sleeping with the loser.”

And with that he took the Slinky and tied it around the lampshade in the corner of the living room. It wasn’t until later that night that we realized it was also a glow in the dark Slinky.