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Showing posts with label Clarence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Clarence. Show all posts

Thursday, July 5, 2007

The American Dream

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: The American Dream

We're out at Catalina's, as usual, discussing life in general, and drinking whatever we can get our hands on.


“So what are we doing for the Fourth? Or even the night before?”


“The night before? The Fourth of July isn't really a night before type of holiday. The night before is the third of July.”


“Yes, but since it's the middle of the week, a lot of people only have off Wednesday, which makes Tuesday night a holiday.”


“You're talking booze. Well, do any of us have to work on the fourth? I don't, but it's only because of luck. The subway is still open.”


“I'm off.”


“As am I.”


“I guess I could take a sick day.”


“I'm sure your boss will be all torn up.”


“Well he approves of drinking, so it's all good.”


“Sounds like we're all good. What did you have in mind Scott?”


“I guess we could just come here.”


“There's a new idea. Are there any outdoor parties that we know of? Barbecues?”


“I know of nothing.”


“All the more reason to come here and celebrate.”


“Do we do anything but drink?”


“Yeah, just the other day. Didn't we play Pictionary?”

“Yeah, but we played with drinking rules. We did a shot of Jack every time we won an all play.”


“Oh right. I'd forgotten. I don't even remember who won.”


“We won!”


“Oh yeah! How could I forget?!” Frank and Scott high-five.


“I don't know if I'd call it winning. You slept on the floor next to the table for the next 14 hours in a puddle of water.”


“Everyone loves a waterbed though.”


“Back to the third, I don't think I want to drink here. I am getting real tired of this place.”


Clarence, with a wink in passing: “You sure spend a lot of your free time here for being so sick of it.”


“We could always go watch the fireworks.”


“Nah. But we're talking about the night before Tab, aren't you listening?”


“No. Not really. I've started tuning you out when you talk about beer. We always either end up here, or drinking at home. Same story.”


“Fine, you find us someone grilling some burgers and dogs Wednesday, and I'll find us somewhere new and different to drink Tuesday night.”


“Fine, now can we at least talk about something a little more interesting?”


Scott, to Billy. “Hey Billy, find us somewhere new to drink Tuesday, k?”


“Ha, I should've seen that coming. I've got your back Scott, don't worry.”


“Didn't you have a date last night Tabitha? Wasn't it your third date? How is that going? Sleep with him yet? When do we get to meet this guy?”


“Date? What date? I don't date!”


“Sure, that's why you were running around frantically trying to find those silver hoop earrings?”


“You know I always like to know where my stuff is!”


“Sure, I know. Except that after you tried them on, you tried on six other pairs of earrings before putting them back on and leaving the apartment.”


“Oh fine. Yes, I had a date. It was nice, we went to this wonderful bistro downtown. I'm seeing him again soon, and no I'm not planning on bringing him around yet. Oh, and it's none of your business if I've slept with him!”


“That's a yes.”


“I didn't say that!”


“Definitely a yes.”


“None of your business!” Tabitha says, blushing.


“Don't worry, if you have a fourth date I'm sure you were good.”


Clarence: “Tabitha had a hot date? Cute guy? You'll have to fill me in later. Another round folks?”


“Please!”

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Late Night Munchies


Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Together with Beer


We often get together at a nearby restaurant when we want a late night snack and/or a drink. They often have nice deals on cheap appetizers and cocktails late at night, so this appeals to the poorer of us.”


“Who'd we get today?” asks Sara as she joins the group at the table.


“My boy Clarence.” says Scott, pointing.


“Excellent. Cindy is such a ditz.”


“Now now, that's not very nice.” Clarence says as he walks up to the table.


“Are you denying that she's a ditz?” asks Frank.


“I just said it isn't nice.” says Clarence with a wink. “Actually she flew home to Ohio to visit her sister. She won't be back until next week.”


“Oh that's nice! So who's covering her shifts?” inquires Tabitha.


“Patrick. You might not know him, he only works afternoons.”


“Lets order guys, I am famished!”


We place our orders, and Clarence turns to walk away.


“Oh! And some breadsticks!”


“You ordered a Manhattan Scott? Do you even know what that is?”


“It's alcohol of some kind right? I live here and I've never had one.”


“Well, I hope you enjoy Whiskey.” says Tabitha, giggling.


“I can't believe you ordered a whole steak Billy. Didn't you just eat an hour ago?”


“What can I say? I like my meat. I passed on appetizers at least.”


“Oh? You're not going to steal any of my potato skins?”


“They do sound good..”


“They make great potato skins here. I bet they go well with whiskey.”


“You two could just order your own you know, you don't have to steal mine.”


“Where's the fun in that?”


“Argh!”


“It's alright Sara, I won't steal your potato skins. Your French fries on the other hand..”




Later...



“I should get my own table. Either that or I should stop ordering food you guys like. Maybe I should develop a taste for snails or something.”


“Or Whiskey. Manhattans are nasty! “


Clarence arrives at the table with Scott's new drink. “Here's your beer Scotty, guess Whiskey isn't your thing.” Clarence says, winking.


“Never again. “ Takes a sip, “Mmm, beer. Wonderful beer.”


“Another Pink Squirrel Billy? I just love serving pink drinks.”


“Sure, but super-size this one. The bigger the better.”


“You got it Tiger.”


Our food arrives shortly after that. “A steak and a pink squirrel. That's such a normal order.”


“You're right. You know what else it needs?”


“What?”


Billy grabs one of Sara's potato skins, dips it in his squirrel, and takes a bite. “Mmhmm, Thsisth isth grood”


“Ugh! I _should_ charge you a quarter for that!”


“Haha, he's got a piece of bacon in his drink now.”


“It's a bacon martini. It's all the rave nowadays. “


“I'd rather have a chicken parmigiana margarita myself.”


“How about a Lobster Island Ice Tea?”


“Yuck! You guys are ruining my appetite!”


“I can help with that!” Scott snatches one of Sara's potato skins and shoves it in his mouth.


“Table manners Scott! We wouldn't want you to choke!”


“Yeah, don't expect any of us to do CPR.”


“Choking is frowned upon here. People tend to tip badly when someone dies at the next table.” Clarence says as he walks over. “You've got some bacon in your Pink Squirrel Billy. What do you get when you cross a pig and squirrel?”


“A Pearl?”


“I was going to say a Squig. Yours is better. Here is your check, have a good evening.”


“Wasn't a squig something from Harry Potter?”


“That's a squib. A person with no innate magical ability trying to learn magic.”


We all finish our drinks and pay the bill. 20 minutes later we're all back at the apartment doing our separate things. Frank's already got a poker game up and running, Billy and Sara are asleep for early shifts. Scott's lounging on the couch watching SportsCenter, Tabitha's in her room studying, and I'm messing around on my computer.