Recruiters are full of Crap

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara

Subject: Recruiters are full of crap

“Recruiters are so full of crap though.” Sara says, talking to Ann about her recent job searches.

“I know the feeling. I'm not sure you can take anything they say seriously.”

“The one I talked to the other day said the guy he wanted to pass my resume along to would be 'salivating'.”

“Hope you've got durable paper.”

“Well, this was a couple of days ago and I've heard nothing. Maybe he salivated right through the resume and lost it.”

“Typical. Recruiters are like men, they never call when you need them.”

“Ha! That's for sure. It's annoying to have to trek out there just so these people can talk to me. I'm so glad I don't live in the suburbs or something, I can't imagine paying the LIRR fares every time a recruiter wanted to 'get to know me'.”

“I had to do that before I moved into the city. It sucked. It's $12 round trip off-peak, and that's not factoring in having to take the subway.”

“Ick. I had this really bubbly ditsy recruiter call me once. She saw my resume on monster, and called me, and we talked. Then she had to put me on hold to ask her supervisor something. When she came back, she was totally confused about who I was or why I was on the phone. We hung up shortly after that, but then the next day she calls again! I have little recognition of names usually, but her voice was so recognizable because it was so bubbly. She'd gotten my resume off of dice this time, but she seemed to have no recollection whatsoever of having talked to me the day before. It was hilarious.”

“Damn! That's an awesome story. Did she ever end up getting you an interview?”

“Nope, I never heard from her again.”

“Aww, I thought you were going to say she got your resume off of careerbuilder the next day.”

“That would've been great.”

“I had a recruiter interview in this really dingy office once. The entrance to the building was just a door's width between two stores on 38^th, and the lobby was probably smaller than our living room. When I got upstairs in the slow elevators, I was in an even smaller lobby.”

“Similarly I went to this interview where they were redoing the office, so I get off the elevator, and I can't get into the actual office, there is no receptionist, and there is all sorts of construction going on. I ended up following a worker in, and turned a random direction and asked someone to direct me to the person I was looking for. It was eight in the morning too so the office was very empty.”

“Hopefully you won't have to deal with too many recruiters, and will find a good job pretty fast.”

“Yeah. Although there is some joy to being able to lay around and not do anything. And I've rediscovered the joys of being up really late.”

“That just means that you'll have even more trouble adjusting to a new job.”

“Yeah. Probably.”

Sara loses her job

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Sara, Tabitha, Frank

Subject: Sara loses her job

Tabitha and Frank return from lunch to find Sara laying on the couch watching Ellen.

“Hi Sara...What are you doing home?”

“And why are you watching Ellen?”

“I got fired.”

“Oh sweetie! I'm sorry!”

“But Ellen? How's that going to help?”

“What happened? Did they tell you why?”

“I kind of had a fight with the security guards.”

“A fight? You punched one of them?”

“No. I generally ignored them and then didn't login again when I returned from lunch.”

“And they fired you for that?”

“Well I may have scuffed up an elevator with my key fob. But only because the security guards were being such assholes.”

“So you defaced their elevators? That doesn't seem like a smart move on your part.”

“It was a plastic key fob that I use to log in. It did no more damage than sneakers on a gym floor. I guess they called their bosses who called the head of my company who apparently fired me without even talking to me.”

“Didn't even let you defend yourself? I guess they had you on security cameras or something?”

“Yeah. I feel so stupid. I just barely resisted screaming at the idiot security guards on the way out. They're so nasty.”

“I'm so glad I don't work for anyone. I don't know if I could handle dealing with power-hungry rent-a-cops every day. I'd probably have done much worse.”

“I guess I should've just pretended they didn't exist.”

“Or you could've just logged in and not gotten into this mess.”

“Come on Tab, we should be supportive here.”

“You're right. We should be supportive.”

“And we can start by changing this.” Frank switches off Ellen.

“I guess it's not the end of the world. I didn't really like the job anyway...and my boss still liked me, it was just out of my hands.”

“So at least you have a good reference then.”

“Yeah. I wonder if there is anyway to call the bosses of those security guards. I know 90 Park Ave is run by Vornado..hmm.”

“Maybe you should just let it go. Move on..”

“But revenge is therapeutic.”

“Isn't revenge what caused the problem in the first place?”

“Oh. I guess that's true. Damn.”

“I'm sure you'll find something else. I've heard the market's actually getting better.”

“I'll find out, that's for sure. I just hate dealing with recruiters. Recruiters suck.”

“Can't you just deal with a company directly?”

“I wish. Doesn't quite work that way. I can try, but in a lot of cases it's hopeless.”

“Well, at least you still have a week of pay due.”

“Actually two. My paycheck usually deposits right around now, and then I'll get this week's next Friday.”

“Ahh. Well at least that's not too bad. You got anything you want to do tonight to cheer up?”

“Strip club!”

“How's a strip club going to cheer her up Frank?”

“What you need to be asking is how will a strip club not cheer her up?” Frank looks at Sara and then back to Tabitha. “Argh, where are Scott and Billy? They'd agree with me.”

“I could use a drink.”

“Okay. Sure. We could go to Catalina's tonight.”

“Yeah. That's fine. I was thinking more like now kind of thing.”

Frank, who grasped her meaning immediately, returns from the kitchen with an open beer.

“Thanks Frank.” Sara takes a big drink, then looks at the television.

“Hey! You changed Ellen? Oh well, I guess Mythbusters is okay too.”

Tabitha has spotted the two discarded bottles of beer next to the couch and is picking them up and checking the floor for spills. “How about the myth that alcohol makes you feel better?” Tabitha says, trying to take the new beer from Sara.

Sara snatches the beer away, a bit too fast, and some of it sloshes out onto the coffee table.

Tabitha rushes into the kitchen to get a towel, and Sara laughs.

“Frank, call Billy and Scott to meet us at Catalina's for dinner. Ann's supposed to be home soon herself. I don't know if she's working tonight or not, but either way she's going.”

“Sure Sara, I'm on it. You want any lunch with your beer?”

“No thanks, I'll just lie here and listen to Adam and Jamie babble on about physics and explosions.”

“Okay. I'll join you in a bit, keep you company.”

“Whatever.”

Tabitha's Monkey Dew

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha

Subject: Tabitha's New Job

Me and Sara are watching a rerun of Scrubs when we hear Tabitha's phone ring. A couple of minutes later she comes out, looking all excited.

“You get the job?”

“Sure did. This will at least keep me paying my bills.”

“Do they know you go back to school in August?”

“Yeah. I'm going to work part time. I guess If I can't handle that I'll quit.”

“So what are you doing?”

“Answering phones, running to the post office, some filing. That sort of thing.”

“So you're a gopher.”

“I guess you could say that.”

“What kind of company is it?”

“They're a small software company. So hopefully I won't even have much to do.”

“Or they'll constantly be behind and need you to work hard.”

“That's true. They did see rather disorganized when I was there.”

“If they're programmers, they'll probably have you running out to buy cases of Mountain Dew or something.”

“Mountain Dew. That nasty looking yellow color always makes me want to call it Monkey Dew.”

“Monkey Dew? Eww. Well there is a Gristedes right across the street, but hopefully they'll stock their own Dew.”

“So any of them good looking?”

“Not really. One guy, but he's married.”

“Figures. So when do you start?”

“Monday. Diving right in.”

“Should we celebrate or something?”

“Celebrating is what made me broke in the first place. How about we wait until my first paycheck and then celebrate?”

“That works for me. There is nothing like blowing a paycheck on a high quality drunken binge.”

“Did I ever tell you I admire your money saving skills Sara?”