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Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Ann's a Jinx

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Frank and Scott.

Subject: Exercise? Never heard of it.

Frank walks in and peels off his heavy jacket. Im soaked. Its warm out there!

“Is it? I haven’t been outside all day.”

Yeah. Its probably 70 degrees out. I guess its nice if you arent in a heavy jacket.

Ann walks in from the bedroom. Its warm out? Maybe I should go out for a walk.

Its a nice day for it. Itll probably be cold again before you know it. Youre a jinx, only a couple of days after you blog about it being frigid out and now we have a heat wave.

Maybe I should blog about not getting something Ive written published then.

“Or blog about not winning the lottery.”

Or blog about never finding a boyfriend.

Ouch! Low blow Frank!

Frank just grins. I feel like sitting outside with a beer and watching baseball in weather like this. Its a shame its still many months away.

“Still over a month before pitchers and catchers even report to spring training.”

I know. Only seven football games left too. Guess there is going to be a lot of hockey watching in the near future.

Or you could actually go out and play sports, exercise, that kind of thing.

Exercise? Naaaaah. Frank flops on the couch and flips on Comedy Central. I want to watch the Daily Show from last night, I forgot. First one back since the strike started.

Oh, right! Screw the walk.

“Now who’s skipping exercise?” Scott teases, bringing over three beers.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

The Bitter End

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: The Bitter End

The holidays have come and gone too fast and its back to the daily grind for most of us. Holiday decorations have started to come down, and even the leftovers have been eaten or disposed of. Soon discarded Christmas trees will start to line the curbs having outlived their usefulness. The weather has dropped to sub-zero temperatures so that cheeks are turning rosy and noses feel like theyre going to succumb to frostbite. Everyone is bundled up and rushing about from place to place even faster than usual, desperate to get out of the cold. Its almost as if all the love and warmth of Christmas has been sucked out of the city to leave us with a cold dispassionate wasteland.


I exit the subway, taking the exit thats farther away because its closer to my destination and allows me to stay out of the cold for an extra 50 feet. Everyone is bundled up in hats and scarves and gloves, and the few that arent look miserable. Every drop of moisture is quick to freeze; globules of spit have frozen to the sidewalk and coffee quickly cools off between the coffee shop and the office. Even though it's technically been winter for a couple of weeks, this is the first time you walk outside and think to yourself 'I want to just stay in and hide under my blankets all day'. The calendar has turned to 2008, and it's tempting to think of the future, of spring, baseball, barbecues, and the beach but there is still two or three long cold months to dredge through. There are snowstorms, ice pockets, slushy street corners that you have to leap over, cleaning off and warming up your car in the morning if you have one and always wondering if the jacket, hat, and gloves you brought with you are warm enough. Snowstorms can be beautiful, and plenty of people prefer the cold snaps of January to the heat waves of July, but when you're shivering while standing around waiting for a subway or a bus or a taxi, you're rarely thinking of how beautiful the snow looks against the backdrop of the Empire State Building.


The best part of the day is upon me, as I can return to my apartment until tomorrow, safely out of the elements and surrounded by my loving friends. The apartment is full of energy and warmth, and it's easy to forget it's below zero outside when you're joking around watching family guy reruns or playing Apples to Apples, a game Tabitha got for christmas. I unlock the door and go in.


Hey Ann! We're going to watch Evan Almighty. You in?”


Sure, I love Steve Carell.”


I've got a pot of hot chocolate on the stove. You want some?”


Wow, I can't think of anything I want more. I brought marshmallows and whipped cream.” Ann says, holding up the bag from the store.


Add a splash of Rumplemintz in there, nothing like warm peppermint to soothe your soul.”


And your liver!”


I hate to admit he's right, but it does taste good this way.” Sara says, indicating the mug of hot chocolate she's drinking.


Bring those marshmallows over here!”


With pleasure.”

Friday, January 4, 2008

It is Resolved

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: It Is Resolved.


Everyone is sitting at the table eating leftovers and such for dinner. There are leftover Christmas cookies, some lasagna, pigs in a blanket and a bunch of other little leftover dishes.


Its suddenly 2008. Did you guys make resolutions? What are they?


I’m going to try to lose some weight this year. Well, as soon as these cookies are gone anyway.” Tabitha says, picking up a chocolate snowball from the plate.


Would you hate me if I said my resolution was to bake more cookies? Its not though, dont worry. I want to write more. Something thats more of a story than the blog.


Didn’t you say you were going to try to write a script out of the blog? Did you ever do that?”


Nope. I still intend to, I just ..havent.


Ahh. Okay then. I’d like to find a better job this year, preferably one that nets me a bit more money.”


Yeah, money never hurts.”


Im going to try to cut down on my frivolous spending. It couldn’t hurt to actually save some money beyond my bankroll for poker, or even to start playing at a higher level. Youre not going to make a resolution are you Billy?


Nope. I’m not a resolution type of person.”


Billy’s very unresolved.”


Or I just resolve what I resolve when I resolve it, instead of only today.”


Okay then, give us one of your resolutions you have made in the past that youre working on right now.


I told myself I’d learn to juggle well a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t gotten there yet. I did manage to get the motion down, but I can’t keep it up very long.”


I like to juggle. Sometimes I juggle stale muffins after work. I should try to learn how to juggle the syrup bottles, dazzle the customers.”


But this year I’m going to join one of my pals that comes into Starbucks occasionally on one of the Improv Everywhere missions. Probably not the No-Pants Subway Ride they’re doing in a couple of weeks though.”


That could be fun. They have that mp3 experiment too.”


That’s the one that everyone listens to the same file on their Ipod and runs around doing crazy stuff?”


Pretty much. Should be par for the course for you.”



Wednesday, January 2, 2008

5..4..3...2....1.....Happy New Year!!

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Sara, Tabitha, Frank, and Scott.

Subject: 5..4...3...2...1....Happy New Year!!!


Happy New Year!” Frank shouts, blowing on a noise maker as he enters the 6th Floor wearing giant 2008 flashing light-up glasses with the 0’s as eyeholes.


12 hours Frank. The new year starts at midnight, not noon.”


I can’t believe you bought those glasses.”


I can’t believe you didn’t buy a pair for Tabitha!”


Oh! But I did!” Frank says, pulling out five more pairs of glasses. “And for you too!”


Shit.”


I wonder what they're going to do in 2010. No more double zeros for eyeholes.”


They could make the 1 a little higher up on the nose, and use both zeros still.”


Maybe, but once they get to 2011 it's definitely over.”


That's kind of sad. I've grown accustomed to seeing those silly glasses around.”


I thought you hated wearing those silly glasses.” Scott says, entering the room.


I do! I still like seeing everyone else wearing those silly glasses though!”


Scott takes a pair and puts them on. “I have to go to work for a couple of hours. I'm going to wear these silly glasses the whole time!”


Oh, and don't start rocking in the New Year until I get back!” Scott waves, and exits.


Well then. I know Ann invited Amy and Sue, but do you know who else she invited?”


A bunch of people. Most of them aren't showing up though, so no worries. I think maybe Mike from downstairs, and that might be it.”


You mean Mike from upstairs right? I don't think we know any Mikes downstairs.”


Sure, maybe. I don't know where he lives. I only ever see him downstairs, and I don't often take that sketchy elevator up so I don't see where he gets off.”


I probably should take the stairs more often, it's good exercise. I don't see what you have against the elevator though.”


I think it might be the feeling that I'm in a coffin that does it. And it certainly has a distinct odor.”


I know they clean it, I've seen them cleaning it. I don't know why it still smells like that.”


The stairs are safer..although I should be careful tonight and tomorrow. It always seems like stairwells are where drunk people go to puke.”


I've noticed that too!”


So..Anyone want to see if Scott is really wearing those glasses at work?”


I was thinking the same thing.”


The three of them rise, grab their jackets and head out to see Scott at work.



Before you ask, he did have them on when we arrived. When we arrived, an old lady was praising him for being in the spirit of the holiday while she ordered her frappachino.


Friday, December 28, 2007

6th Floor's Secret Santa

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Secret Santa

Christmas songs are playing softly in the background, and the sweet smell of cookies fills the apartment. Were all drinking seasonal themed drinks and gathered around in our pre-Christmas Christmas party amongst ourselves before we all depart to spend part of all of the upcoming week with family. Six presents are stacked near our tree, in various shapes and sizes.

Thats the last sheet.Ann says as she sticks the last cookie sheet of cookies into the oven.

You managed to bake them faster than we ate them, good job!”

Thanks Billy. Ive still got plenty left to bring to my parents too.

We should discuss what we’re going to do for New Years, and who is going to be back for it. I don’t want it to end up like last year.”

That was pretty bad. Maybe we can just do something a little more low key this year. No reason we have to get rip-roaring drunk amidst a bunch of other crazy New Yorkers.

Your southern roots are showing Frank.”

I thought five other crazy New Yorkers was enough right here. Why, do you think we should do something like that again?

It doesn’t matter to me. As long as I’ve got a beer in one hand and a beer in the other hand, I’m happy.”

And a beer in Tabitha’s hand ready and waiting?”

Itd be warm though. Tabitha can nurse a beer with the best of them.

Just because I don’t funnel it down my throat doesn’t mean I’m nursing it! I'm just appreciating it!”

Last time Sara went to recycle a six-pack, she found the sixth beer half drunk and warm on your desk!

Oh, stop bickering and lets open presents!”

Presents!

Gifts!”

Packages!

We get it! Open them! Who goes first?”

We drew straws for it already remember? Billy, me, Ann, You, Frank and Scott is last.”

Saving the best for last, as usual.”

That’s very subjective.”

Tabitha goes over to the table with the presents on it and removes a box and tosses it to Billy.

You’re up Billy. Open it up.”

Billy opens up the present. “Oooh, Mario Galaxy. Nice.”

My turn. Wow, this one is rather badly wrapped.” Tabitha says, picking up a slightly fluffy package with a liberal amount of tape all over it.

Oh! It’s Herpes, Chlamydia and The Pox! Awesome! Thanks Santa!”

Hehehe. Santa gave Tabitha an STD.

I always knew Santa was a dirty old man!”

Well he is always watching…”

Okay, my turn!

Tabitha hands Ann a pretty little present wrapped in pink paper with a purple bow.

Wow, this is a very pretty package. I dont even want to open it.

Shopping for Ann is easy. She’s content with a box.”

Fine fine.Ann opens up the box to find a pair of earrings.

Oh, these are nice! Emerald earrings. Cool. Saras turn.

Sara looks over at Tabitha, who has sat down on the couch.

I’ll get my present myself, thanks Tabitha.” Sara says, picking up her gift.

Oh! Whoops, sorry Sara!”

Sweet, A binary clock!”

Binary clock? How’s that work?”

Well, see these lights represent the seconds and..”

Whoosh, right over my head! I get it, it’s a geek clock.” Tabitha says, cutting Sara off.

It certainly is. They actually sell them on Thinkgeek.com. Hand me my present Sara, since youve taken over Tabs role.

Frank’s present is pretty round, so Sara takes it and shoots it like a basketball into Franks lap.

Nice shot. I hope this isnt a basketball, Its hard to get a basketball game going on the 6th floor of an apartment.Frank rips open the present.

A round box of truffles! Deliciously awesome!

Scott jumps up and grabs the last gift, which also has a little envelope sized gift taped to it, which he opens first.

Oh, a Starbucks gift card! How…utterly..useless. I hope you didn’t activate it?” Scott looks around, trying to figure out which joker bought his present.I’ll check at work then, I’m sure George will get a kick out of this gift. Now what’s the rest of it?”

Oh, a radio controlled mini-helicopter. Sweet.”

Ann, we need more cookies!” Billy says, holding up the empty cookie dish.

Already?

Opening presents is tiring work.”

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

It's Time To Go To The Movies!

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Sara, Frank

Subject: It’s Movie Time!

“I miss baseball.”

“Yeah, me too. I’m all for full disclosure, but I’d like to have an actual game to watch and discuss, not just allegations of cheating and who’s talking to who about acquiring who.”

“I’m surprised they don’t have a live blog and webcam on Johan Santana’s agent and the Twins GM. Those two must be wearing out the phone lines. If you’re having trouble placing a call in Minnesota, it’s probably because those two are on the phone.”

“No kidding. Islanders are on tonight, sans Simon. I may watch.”

“I’d lounge and watch sports. I think Ann’s going to be baking cookies, so we can ‘test’ them as she works.”

“Cookies! We should all go see a movie tomorrow night. Might be our last chance to watch a movie together this year.”

“That sounds good. Yeah, I think Tabitha’s actually going to be with her family for most of the time from Christmas to New Years. What should we see? I Am Legend?”

“How about Alvin and the Chipmunks?”

“Eh. There’s National Treasure: Book of Secrets.”

“I’d see that, but I don’t think Scott will. He was ranting about them making a sequel to that movie when we went to see the Golden Compass. I’m not sure what he has against it.”

“What’s left? Sweeney Todd? I don’t really know what it’s about, but it’s supposed to be good or something. Johnny Depp. Directed by Tim Burton.”

“I don’t always trust it when people say it’s supposed to be good. I’d see it though, but I don’t think it comes out until Friday. “

“There are a couple of midnight showings tomorrow. We could see it then.”

“Midnight? Bleh..I have to..oh wait! I’m off Friday! I’d do that then. We’d have to check with everyone else then though.”

“Sounds like a plan. Hey, it’s almost seven. Let’s get that ice-game going.”

Monday, December 17, 2007

Gingerbread House

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Tabitha's Gingerbread House


I created my gingerbread house over the weekend. Normally I do a typical gingerbread house, a wintry scene of some sort. This year I mixed it up and make it a little more tropical. Here was my five fellow flat mates (I'm British today apparently)reactions to my house, as well as some pictures.

Sweet house Tab! That raft is really cool. Although why there is a gingerbread house on a raft..”


Look, there is a snowman! Although..it looks like he's melting. And that monkey over there is waving to him from the little island.”

So this is edible? I can eat it?”


Yes Billy...if you want to eat my stale gingerbread house that's covered in dust after the holidays, you're more than welcome to.”


Awesome! I'm going to start with your snowy roof. Get the coconut stuff out of the way first.”

I can't believe you have a volcano. A gingerbread house with an erupting volcano. It is cool though. Well, except that rabbit probably doesn't think so if the lava keeps flowing.”

How is that guy water skiing..if no one is driving the boat? Ooo...Jujubes!”



Thursday, December 13, 2007

This Post Brought To You By 6th Floor Blog

Welcome to the 6th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Frank, Billy.

Subject: This subway ride brought to you by 6th Floor Blog


Ugh! You and your MTA!” Ann says, throwing her coat at Billy as she arrives home.


What happened now? Your train explode?”


No, I..” Ann pauses, “Explodes? Is that something I need worry about?”


Nah, almost never happens. Hey, you don't ride the F a lot do you?”


Who rides the F anymore? Ha! What's up Ann, you get annoyed at the endless reminders about searches?”


Frank starts speaking in a deep, throaty voice, “...reminded that backpacks and other large containers are subject to search by the police.”


I so wanted to be the guy that makes all those recordings. How cool would that be? I don't quite have the clout for that though.”


Clout? Isn't that word a little big for you Billy?”


It's only five letter's Sara, not that big.”


Sara sticks her tongue out at Billy. “No, I bet she's annoyed at those damn Marie Bartiromo ads.”


The CNBC lady? She's not that bad looking for being 40.”


I don't care what she looks like! It's not you see her anyway, it's just another freaking recording where she identifies herself and tells you to watch the gap. I was only on the platform for a couple of minutes and definitely heard it a couple of times. What's the world coming to that even our safety announcements are sponsored?”


I did hear something about that actually. I'd forgotten about it. I'd rather them sell advertising space than have a fare hike. Well not really, since I don't pay to ride...haha..I'd rather them give us all raises though.”


I'd rather them give you a raise too, or not raise fares..or really anything other than that. I could swear that the damn ad is louder too.”


I didn't end up taking the subway the last couple of days, I could see that being annoying though. I'm already so inundated with announcements that I tune them all out. It doesn't help me hear the info I actually need to hear.”


I am usually pretty good at letting stuff go in one ear and out the other, but this one just annoyed me. “


I hear that. What won't they advertise on? Will we swipe our card and have our remaining balance brought to us by Chase? Will we soon know it as the Jetblue E train?”


That could be horrible. Although if they started sponsoring specific trains, you'd hope the Yankees create the Lou Gehrig 4 train.”


Sara takes her turn imitating the MTA recordings. “Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a Jose Reyes #7 Express train approaching Citi Field.”


Now there is an idea I could get behind!”


I apologize for my horrible horrible photoshopping, but I'm tired now and don't want to play with it anymore.