Death of Blond Jokes

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Ann's Changes

We arrived at Catalina's at 10:30. Sara and Frank wanted to watch the game at home, not knowing if they'd have a seat with a good angle for the televisions at Catalina's. When we got there the crowd was thinning out a bit, but there was no one at the hostess stand, so we stood around waiting until a red-haired girl approached us with menus.

“Ann?! You dyed your hair!”

“You work here now?”

“Ann! Lookout, your hair is on fire!”

“Why didn't you tell us?”

“Can you get us a discount on drinks then?”

“Well I'm glad you approve. I did indeed dye my hair, I figured it was time for a change. I cannot get you a discount though. I'm off at 11, so I'll seat you now and join you after my shift. We can discuss how I've actually seen all of you recently and you didn't notice.”

“Wow, she looks so different.” Sara says as Ann walks away after seating them to finish her duties for the night.

“I know. It's a nice color on her though. Will definitely take some getting used to.”

“It eliminates the blond jokes too. Redhead jokes just aren't as funny.”

“I'm going to order a Killian's Irish Red to celebrate.”

“Me too. Here's Clarence now.”

Clarence: “Hi guys. Isn't Ann's hair just fabulous?”

“Just blazin'. It was quite a shock. So when did she start working here?”

Clarence: “Just yesterday afternoon. Usually we wouldn't have her working Friday night, but two of our regulars called in sick.”

“Sick sick? Or I have tickets to the Yankee game sick?”

Clarence: “My guess is the latter. Crazy game today huh? I didn't know the Yankees knew how to steal that many bases. And what was with all the swinging bunts?”

“No idea. I'll take it though. 10 of 11!”

Clarence: “They're definitely getting back on track. So what can I get you tonight?”

“Let's start with five Killian's Irish Red in honor of Ann.”

Clarence: “Sounds perfect. I'll be back shortly to ask you what overly greasy appetizers you want.”

“Ann isn't Irish is she?”

“I don't think so.”

“Then she's not really an 'Irish' Red.”

“Did you have a better drink to order?”

“Could have gotten strawberry margaritas.”

“Well there is always round two.”

“Very true. Ann's not even off yet.”

Clarence: “Here you guys are. Appetizers?”

“We are going to wait for Ann to order food. I imagine she's hungry.”

“We are? Oh fine. Could you bring us some breadsticks to hold me over?”

Clarence: “Certainly. The firecracker should be here shortly.”

“Firecracker?”

Clarence: “Yeah, I thought it up myself.”

“I kind of like it.”

“And here is Ann herself!”

“Introducing yourself? You really are a firecracker.”

“Firecracker? I guess it beats blond jokes.”

“Fess up! You said you've seen us in the last couple of days. Where?”

“Well I saw you at work. I was sitting in the corner on my laptop for about an hour on Tuesday.”

“What? No way..”

“Yup. I ordered a Java Chip Frappachino from..I can't remember the girl's name. The one with the nose ring.”

“Ring Girl.”

“Her real name Scott.”

“I don't know her real name. I've called her Ring Girl since she started working there.”

“I'm sure she loves that. Anyway, you actually made the drink for me, and handed it to me.”

“If you say so. I guess the hair totally messed with me. Of course, I rarely look at a pretty girl's face.. Wait, Frank was at Starbucks on Tuesday too. I remember because he complained about losing $100 to an idiot with jack five.”

“Fucking newb.”

“Yeah. I saw Frank there.”

“Wait, so why didn't you just say hello or something? Instead of stalking us from a distance?”

“I was going to when Scott didn't recognize me, but then I decided it'd be funny. Anyway, you guys did your own stalking it seems.”

“We certainly did..you were successful though. Where did you see me?”

“You don't have to worry about not recognizing me. I boarded one of your trains this week. I was in the front car and saw you. I wasn't sure it was you at first, but then I heard your announcement. 'Union Square. Transfer here for the N, R, Q, W, 4, 5, 6, 7 ,8 ,9, 10...wait, only the 4,5,6 I just can't help counting once I start.'”

“Ahh yes. I'm worse at 6^th, because then I have to start with 1,2,3. The nine used to help but then they abandoned that line.”

“Sara walked down the stairs and right past me onto the train on her way to work. This was earlier yesterday, I was coming home to pick up some clothes. If I was a little faster she would've actually seen me at home.”

“No guarantees. I can be very zombie-like in the morning.”

“Saved the best for last?”

“Certainly. You were walking on Park with your friend Melissa, and I suddenly stopped because I wanted to grab an Onion from one of the boxes, and you actually walked into me. I thought for sure you'd recognize me, but you just said 'excuse me' and hurried on your way.”

“Oops. Serves you right for suddenly stopping in front of me though. We were in a hurry, Melissa had made lunch reservations and we were running late.”

“So that's how I've been stalking you all week. Now to the important stuff, where's Clarence with our second round?”

Nothing Loosens Lips Like Alcohol

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Nothing loosens the lips like alcohol

After the game Friday night me and Frank headed over to Union Square to meet the rest of the gang. As we get off the train I call them and it turns out they've also just arrived, so we all go to Max Brenner together. We're about to head in when we're stopped by someone calling most of our names. It's Amy and Sue, two girls who used to live on our floor before moving in with their respective boyfriends. Sue is actually getting married in a couple of months.

Sue: “Hey guys! It's funny running into you, especially today! Me and Amy just decided to meet up and go out and have some drinks tonight. You should come with us, it'll be just like old times!”

“I'm in, are you guys okay with skipping chocolate tonight?”

“It's a tough choice, but I guess I can skip chocolate for these two...as long as one of them buys me a chocolate Martini where ever we're going.”

Amy: “Certainly! I'll do it, Sue should be saving for her wedding!”

“Did you pick a date yet?”

Sue: “Not quite yet, we're decided between two dates in the spring of '08. So what are guys doing out besides getting chocolate?”

“We were grabbing dinner at the Corner Bistro, and we just met up with Sara and Frank returning from the game.”

Amy: “The Met game? How'd they do?”

“Mets won 3-2, Pettite thought Endy was bunting, instead he swung and hit a two run home run. One more win and Frank loses our bet.”

Amy: “Oooh, a bet. That sounds like fun. You guys going to any more of the games?”

“Nope, I'll have to wait until they come to Yankee Stadium to see them beat the Mets I guess.”

We arrived at the bar Amy and Sue were headed to, and found ourselves a semi-empty corner to hang out in. As is typical when we go out to bars, we ended up forming a circle so that we could all talk to each other.

Sue: “You guys look like you're already a little tipsy, a bit too many beers with dinner?”

“You know we can never pass up those McSorley's. It's just a shame that the real bar is always so jam packed.”

“We had a couple of beers ourself at Shea. It's such a rip off but I can't help myself.”

“Just trying to drown your sorrows huh Frank?”

“Absolutely.”

Sue: “So what's new with everyone? What have you guys been up to? Any dates recently?”

“I was on a date just last night actually. It was kind of a bore.”

“You never did mention how that went. I noticed you didn't come back with him and you certainly weren't home very late.”

“Well you know he was a guy from work. He really seemed to not want to talk about anything except work. We talked office politics, coding solutions...it was just like lunch in the cafeteria.”

“What a snooze.”

“Exactly, I didn't even have to make up an excuse to part ways after dinner, he wanted to go home because we had work the next morning.”

“As I recall, you're asleep early most nights too.”

“Yeah yeah, we don't all have the luxury of your schedule.”

Amy: “Still doing well with the Poker I take it?”

“It pays the bills, and it certainly beats rising with the sun and trudging off to work.”

Sue “I imagine it would. So Tabitha, you think you did well on your finals?”

“I think so yeah, I wish I didn't have to wait so long to find out my grades.”

“Tab, are you chewing on the appetizers menu?”

Tabitha pulls the wad of paper out of her mouth and opens it up. “Looks like it, you want more food?”

“I'm not into paper as a snack actually, I'll pass.”

Sue “So how about the rest of you? Anything to write home about?”

“I drove the M train this week!”

“Yes, that's all very exciting. You still travel a lot for work Amy?”

Amy: “Not quite as much, but still some. I have more seniority now that one of the older guys quit. Means I get to pick and choose more about which trips to take. Last week I was actually in Vegas; best trip for work ever.”

“I bet. You should have told me, I would've flown with you. I rarely pass up an excuse to go to Vegas, it's like my Mecca.”

“Yeah, he actually makes sure every time he plays poker on-line he faces towards Las Vegas.”

Amy: “Ha! Well maybe next time I go out there I'll give you a call. I assume you feel much the same about other gambling places? Atlantic City? Reno?”

“Yup, although AC is close enough that I really don't need an excuse to go there.”

We continued chatting and drinking and having a grand time late into the night, but none of us really remember much after that. Tabitha did develop a small cut on her lip, and Frank's arm felt sore the next day, and it certainly wasn't from cheering for the Yankees.

The Mets slaughtered the Yankees on Saturday, having starting pitcher Darrel Rasner leave with a broken finger in the first inning killed them. The Yankees managed to eke out the third game so Frank will not be my slave, but he does owe me a couple of drinks. I'm thinking of ordering every drink with top shelf liquor.