Trash Talk

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Sara, Frank

Subject: Trash Talk

“I see the Mets are making a habit of this September collapse thing.”

“Can it curse boy. The Mets are still the wild card leaders.”

“They were in first place this time last year too.”

“And Yankee games still mattered!”

“Can't win them all. So we have to wait another year for 27.”

“Yeah..good luck with that. Didn't Carl Pavano win more games than super rookies Hughes and Kennedy?”

“Big moves coming this offseason.”

“At least the Mets aren't talking about the offseason yet.”

“Give it another day.”

“We'll see!”

“We will. I wouldn't miss collapse part two for the world.”

All-Star Game Drinking Fun

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Billy

Subject: All-Star Drinking Game

“Help me with these.” Billy asks, as he comes through the door with a ton of boxes.

“What have you got there?” Ann asks, getting off the couch to help.

“I got some beer for the drinking game for the All-Star Game.”

“We're doing that again? Where's the game this year?”

“Umm..it's right here in New York. At Yankee Stadium. Where have you been?”

“Guess I tune out anything baseball.”

“I've devised a Yankee Stadium version of the game. I'm sure it'll be favorable to getting drunk via the Yankee Stadium lovefest I'm sure the game will be.”

“We're well stocked if it is.” Billy says, as he loads 6-packs into the fridge. Maybe we should drink for the Home Run Derby too.”

“Probably not enough action than that. Don't they usually hit like 40 home runs?”

“Usually a little less than that. But we could make it simple, just each pick a player, and take a shot for each home run they hit. We'd have to switch it up to keep us from dying though, so if you're player advances, you win and don't drink anymore, and a loser takes up your player.”

“We could try that. If we get too plastered too fast, we'll just stop drinking to the derby, and just drink.”

“Seems fair enough to me. I'm going to need plenty of alcohol to get through two nights of baseball.”

“As long as we're still on to go to New Roc City to see Dark Prince next weekend.”

“Of course, providing we can all get up there.”

“Back to baseball though. I figure I'll need to drink for it too, I'm going to be sick of Yankees talk about 5 minutes in.”

“Sure Frank will love it though.”

“I'll just grill him about the Mets being better if he does.”

“The Mets are doing better now? When did that happen? Weren't they playing like crap?”

“Actually, they're on fire. They've won nine in a row. Only one win behind the Phillies.”

“Well, that's pretty good. I'd think they'd have to at least give them props for that during the game right?”

“Maybe they'll mention it when David Wright is up, but otherwise I doubt it.”

“Really down on the Fox broadcasters huh?”

“It's one of the reasons I try to get out to Shea on Saturdays. It means I don't have to listen to those guys when they do a game.”

“That's a good idea. Hey, we should all go to a game together this year. I haven't been out to Shea and I guess I should see it one more time right?”

“Sure, it'll be like a 6^th Floor does Shea experience.”

“And it'll give me something to blog about!”

“Well, we know where your priorities are Ann.”

Easter Eggs

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Easter

“Wow, I think I ate way too much junk. My stomach is angry at me.”

“Mine too. I actually ate half of that huge chocolate bunny my parents sent me.”

“You girls are lightweights.” Billy says, buttering himself another piece of Easter bread.

“I can't believe we went through a loaf and a half of that stuff...you must have eaten half of one yourself Billy.”

“It's good stuff. Ann is a good baker.”

“Thanks. Those pastries Frank bought were delicious too.”

“Want another? There are plenty left.” Frank says, peeking into the bakery box.

“No! I'm full. I'm on chocolate hiatus.”

“Chocolate hiatus sounds like a sin.”

“It probably is.”

“I think I've eaten too many eggs. I think I had five today, that's a lot of cholesterol.”

“Maybe if Tabitha hadn't insisted we dye so many...”

“You're right, I think four dozen eggs may have been overkill, but it was fun!”

“I ran out of ideas though. And then Sara had to make too many blue and orange Mets colors eggs..Speaking of which, are you getting up to watch any of the Red Sox against the As in Japan Sara?”

“Probably not. It's on at 6 right? I'll probably wake up and catch the end of one of them, just to see some real baseball.”

“Yeah, I may just stay up all night. We'll see. I have to remember to make sure all my Boston and Oakland players are active in my fantasy leagues though.”

“Yeah, I should do that too.”

Super Bowl Sunday

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Super Bowl Sunday

After spending the day proclaiming myself the premier Giants fan in the apartment, Ann demanded that I write this post after the game. Frank's a Panther fan, Sara and Billy like the Jets, Ann calls herself a Bills fan, and Tabitha, when I demanded she pick a team, chose the Browns because she thought it was a silly name for a football team.

Action continues at the end of the fourth quarter.

“There is still one second left! Get off the field so we can finish this!”

“Why bother? Do we really need to go through the process of Eli catching a football to finalize it? He's not going to drop it and then have the Patriots recover for a touchdown, that's just stupid.”

“League rules though.”

“They've already hit Coughlin with the Gatorade, that's good enough for me.”

“Some good commercials though.”

“Hey, let's bask in the glory of the Giants championship a little before we discuss mundane advertisements.”

“The last time the Mets won the World Series, it was after the Giants won the Super Bowl.”

“Aren't you jinxing it a little bit?”

“Nah. Come to think of it, the last time the other local football team won, the Mets won the World Series also.”

“Well, maybe the Mets win and then it's the Jets turn next year?”

“That's definitely a jinx.”

“Anything in association with the Jets is a jinx.”

“I liked the Thanksgiving balloon commercial with Stewie and Underdog racing for the bottle of coke.”

“Oh fine. Let's discuss the commercials. It was a little surprising to see Charlie Brown of all people prevail though.”

“Brown never prevails. He's like the Jets.”

“Stewie is usually foiled too...and Underdog by nature is not favored to win.”

“Good point.”

“The Garmin ad where the reenacter shamefully hides the electronic device after he uses it to get there was funny. I like the catchy song too, Garmin, Garmiiin.” Sara sings.

“Somehow I don't think it'd find that forest though.”

A Geico caveman commercial comes on, where the cavemen mock the Caveman tv show.

“Did the Geico Cavemen just mock the television show?”

“They sure did. Even they know it sucked.”

“That Doritos commercial was awesome! The one where he baits the trap for the mouse.”

“And then the giant mouse leaps out of the wall and beats the crap out of him? Classic.”

“The Sales Genie commercials were pretty bad though.”

“Yeah, they lose. Worse than the Patriots.”

“I kind of enjoyed the Diet Pepsi Max with ginseng commercials. The one where they're all head-bobbing and falling asleep.”

“The best part was seeing Joe Buck falling asleep. I guess he bores even himself.”

“No no, the best part is right at the end where the guy yells 'Stop it!' at the two girls.”

“That was one of the best Super Bowls ever, but now I'm going to hit the hay. Early shift tomorrow.”

“Hit the hay? I don't think anyone actually uses that phrase anymore..unless you are headed out to a barn.”

“You should convert your room into a hay loft. That'd be pretty cool.”

“Maybe tomorrow. Tonight I'm going to 'go to sleep'. Better?”

“Kind of boring, but I accept it.”

“Good, goodnight.”

“Is it too early to call in sick so I can attend the parade on Tuesday?”

“Not if you're working tomorrow..I'm sure George will accept that you somehow know you're going to get sick after your shift tomorrow already.”

“You're right. I'll wait 'till Tuesday morning, but you better remind me. George always yells at me for forgetting to call in.”

“Aren't you supposed to get someone to cover for you anyway? You could ask at your shift tomorrow..”

“Hey, you're right! I could do that..Bernice owes me a favor anyway. She'll like this better than the other thing I keep suggesting..”

“You know, one of these days your going to get sued for sexual harassment doing stuff like that.”

“All I meant was burn me a couple of DVDs from her collection. What were you thinking you sicko?”

“I'm sure that's all you meant.”

“Sexual innuendo? Me? Never!”

Sara's Good News

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Frank

Subject: Sara gets uplifting news

Sara bounces in from her room while Frank is playing poker in the living room and Ann is watching tv.

“Wow, someone looks like they got some good news. You find a job?”

“Better. The Mets traded for Johan Santana!”

“Really? Damn! I wanted the Yankees to get him. The Mets finally decided to part with that young outfielder?”

“Nope. Four prospects, they kept F-Mart and Pelfrey!”

“Wow. I can’t believe they didn’t want the Yankees package. Hughes has to be better than that package!”

“Guess not. Or maybe the Twins just couldn’t deal with that crazy Hank guy.”

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree with that one.”

“I think Johan wanted to come to the National League anyway.”

“I’m disappointed, but you know what they say.”

“At least Boston didn’t get him?”

“Exactly.”

“As my friend over at Optimistic Mets Fan says, it’s a good day to be a bartender in Philadelphia.”

Playoff Race

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Sara, Frank

Subject: Playoffs

“Argh!!” shouts Sara, throwing a newspaper across the room as the Mets lose in extra innings.

“Wow. They lost again huh? Some bullpen. I bet they don't even make the playoffs.”

“You're on. They'll still make the playoffs. The Phillies are worse.” Says Sara, somewhat unconvincingly.

“Let's make it better, I bet the Yankees go farther in the playoffs than the Mets.”

“$100?”

“Sounds good. It's win-win for you; If the Mets choke, you lose $100 but get refunding your playoff tickets.”

“I don't know if my heart can take them not making the playoffs. I might have to take that money and pay for the hospital bill, or at least therapy.”

“Doesn't surprise me that a Mets fan needs therapy, I mean you decided to vote for a loser in the first place.”

Sara throws the newspaper she had just retrieved at Frank. “Cocky aren't we? I think you'll find the Yankees have played their cards a little early, and will have nothing left in the postseason.”

“They've got plenty of cards, don't you worry yourself about it.”

“Oh yeah? Wanna bet?!”

“We just did dear.” Frank says, patting Sara on the head with the newspaper as he walks back to his room.

Stripes

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Frank, Scott.

Subject: Stripes

“14, corner pocket. Anyone want to do something tomorrow night? I'm off.”

“Not me. The Braves are in town and I'm headed to the game right after work.”

“11 in the side. Ahh, well have fun. Anyone else?” The 11 ball misses slightly, bouncing away.

“4, in this corner. I'm busy too. I entered an online poker tournament tomorrow night.”

“Nice shot. I'm on the late shift tomorrow night so unless you want to hang around Starbucks, I'm out.”

“5, corner by you. Tabitha's home in Connecticut with her parents all week.”

“Maybe..” Frank pauses as he watches his ball slow, willing it to have enough energy to reach the pocket.

“Didn't quite have the strength on that one did you?”

“I blocked the pocket at least.” Frank says, putting chalk on his cue stick.

“What were you saying? 15 in the corner.”

“No way you're making that shot. Maybe Billy will do something tomorrow night.”

“Guess you were wrong.” Sara says, as Ann's shot caroms off the seven ball and into the pocket. “Excellent shot!”

“Lucky shot! Now what are you going to do?”

“I smell a wager! The intensity! The trash talking!”

“A wager? What is it this time?”

“The usual.” Ann replies, watching her next shot go bad, causing the cue ball to drop into a pocket.

“Aha! Ball in hand! Don't expect to see this again!” Frank teases, as he retrieves the white ball from the pocket.

“What's the usual?”

“Waiter service when we drink this weekend. Loser has to make or fetch all of my drinks.”

“I think you mean Waitress service.” Frank says, as he sinks the first of his remaining three balls.

“You still have more balls than I do.”

“Well you don't have any balls Ann.”

“Crude Scott. Very crude. I wasn't aware we were drinking this weekend, we have plans?”

“1 ball in the side. Don't we always drink? Billy had mentioned some place in midtown, I guess we could try that.”

“Midtown? As long as it's not too far, I always fall asleep on the ride home when we venture too far from home. Wow, lucky break!” Scott says, watching Frank's ball bounce off his other ball and land in the wrong pocket.

“You caught up, but it's my shot now; all lined up.” Ann says gesturing to her last remaining stripe sitting in front of one corner, and the eight ball sitting right in front of the corner next to it.

“Shit! Best two out of three?”

“That was the third game Frank. Come on, lets go. I have to get to work tomorrow.”

Tourist Watching

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Sara, Frank

Subject: Tourist Watching

Sara and I had just gotten coffee at Starbucks and since it was a beautiful day we were just hanging around on the street corner and enjoying our coffee.

“I can't believe you got a hot drink. It's a nice day, but it's still warm out.”

“I just don't like my coffee cold, what can I say? There's a little breeze, so it's not that bad.”

“Did you know they opened a new Starbucks in the LIRR terminal of Penn Station?”

“Another one? Wow. Who would've thought we needed yet another Starbucks.”

“I guess they wanted to open one closer to the 1,2,3 lines. Those poor 7^th avenue travelers had to walk all the way across Penn Station to get their coffee!”

“Woe is them. If they're drinking Starbucks regularly, they may need to burn those extra 12 calories anyway.”

“True. Only fat people take the 3 train.”

Sara snickers. “Ha! You know, standing on the corner talking like this really sets us up to be on Overheard in New York.”

“I'd love to see myself quoted there! My 15 minutes of fame!”

“Ann actually entered us into the headline contest a couple of weeks ago. She got us featured in the 'runner up' section, with a link to our blog.”

“Neat. Well I hope if they quote me, they at least spell my name right.”

“Is there any other way to spell Frank?”

“You never know.”

“I suppose they could give you a stupid last name. Call you Frank Futter or something.”

Frank groans. “And you say Billy makes bad jokes?”

Sara points across the street. “It's a little warm out, why is that woman over there by the newspaper machine wearing what looks like a parka?”

“She must be crazy. She's also eating Tasti D-lite. Who eats ice cream in a heavy jacket during the summer?

“And Tasti D-lite? Eat some real ice cream!”

“You know what I haven't had in a while? Ben and Jerry's. I love me some Phish Food.”

“I'm a fan of the chocolate fudge brownie myself, but I don't recommend we buy any. We're supposed to be being thrifty this week.”

“I know. That's why we only got talls instead of ventis right?”

“True. Although had Billy been working we probably could've super-sized.”

“Did you know Mcdonalds doesn't call it supersizing any more?”

“Yeah. That's old news.”

“Oh. I guess I don't get to Mcdonalds enough.”

“Or you're not paying attention. I'd probably go with that.”

“Thanks. I don't care what they call my food size anyway. Tall, small, supersized, medium, love it.. food is food.”

Sara points to a 20 something guy wandering past with a map. “That guy's come past here twice already. I remember his silly Atlanta Braves hat.”

“Ahh, tourists. He's probably holding the map upside down or something.”

“Think he's looking for Times Square, or the World Trade Center?”

“Maybe he's looking for Penn Station, to head back to Atlanta.”

“Oh well. Maybe if he wanders around New York enough he'll lose the silly Braves hat.”

“The Braves are a joke, I don't know why you still even think about them.”

“I'd be less worried if the Mets could string together a good week here, gain some distance.”

“If everyone that stepped into the outfield stopped exploding, they'd be okay. I'm done with my coffee, I want more though.”

“You addict. I'm only halfway done with mine.”

“Well if you weren't drinking it hot, you'd probably be done. Let's roll; I can make more coffee back home if I want.”

Death of Blond Jokes

Welcome to the 6^th floor.

Today's contributors are: Ann, Sara, Tabitha, Frank, Billy and Scott.

Subject: Ann's Changes

We arrived at Catalina's at 10:30. Sara and Frank wanted to watch the game at home, not knowing if they'd have a seat with a good angle for the televisions at Catalina's. When we got there the crowd was thinning out a bit, but there was no one at the hostess stand, so we stood around waiting until a red-haired girl approached us with menus.

“Ann?! You dyed your hair!”

“You work here now?”

“Ann! Lookout, your hair is on fire!”

“Why didn't you tell us?”

“Can you get us a discount on drinks then?”

“Well I'm glad you approve. I did indeed dye my hair, I figured it was time for a change. I cannot get you a discount though. I'm off at 11, so I'll seat you now and join you after my shift. We can discuss how I've actually seen all of you recently and you didn't notice.”

“Wow, she looks so different.” Sara says as Ann walks away after seating them to finish her duties for the night.

“I know. It's a nice color on her though. Will definitely take some getting used to.”

“It eliminates the blond jokes too. Redhead jokes just aren't as funny.”

“I'm going to order a Killian's Irish Red to celebrate.”

“Me too. Here's Clarence now.”

Clarence: “Hi guys. Isn't Ann's hair just fabulous?”

“Just blazin'. It was quite a shock. So when did she start working here?”

Clarence: “Just yesterday afternoon. Usually we wouldn't have her working Friday night, but two of our regulars called in sick.”

“Sick sick? Or I have tickets to the Yankee game sick?”

Clarence: “My guess is the latter. Crazy game today huh? I didn't know the Yankees knew how to steal that many bases. And what was with all the swinging bunts?”

“No idea. I'll take it though. 10 of 11!”

Clarence: “They're definitely getting back on track. So what can I get you tonight?”

“Let's start with five Killian's Irish Red in honor of Ann.”

Clarence: “Sounds perfect. I'll be back shortly to ask you what overly greasy appetizers you want.”

“Ann isn't Irish is she?”

“I don't think so.”

“Then she's not really an 'Irish' Red.”

“Did you have a better drink to order?”

“Could have gotten strawberry margaritas.”

“Well there is always round two.”

“Very true. Ann's not even off yet.”

Clarence: “Here you guys are. Appetizers?”

“We are going to wait for Ann to order food. I imagine she's hungry.”

“We are? Oh fine. Could you bring us some breadsticks to hold me over?”

Clarence: “Certainly. The firecracker should be here shortly.”

“Firecracker?”

Clarence: “Yeah, I thought it up myself.”

“I kind of like it.”

“And here is Ann herself!”

“Introducing yourself? You really are a firecracker.”

“Firecracker? I guess it beats blond jokes.”

“Fess up! You said you've seen us in the last couple of days. Where?”

“Well I saw you at work. I was sitting in the corner on my laptop for about an hour on Tuesday.”

“What? No way..”

“Yup. I ordered a Java Chip Frappachino from..I can't remember the girl's name. The one with the nose ring.”

“Ring Girl.”

“Her real name Scott.”

“I don't know her real name. I've called her Ring Girl since she started working there.”

“I'm sure she loves that. Anyway, you actually made the drink for me, and handed it to me.”

“If you say so. I guess the hair totally messed with me. Of course, I rarely look at a pretty girl's face.. Wait, Frank was at Starbucks on Tuesday too. I remember because he complained about losing $100 to an idiot with jack five.”

“Fucking newb.”

“Yeah. I saw Frank there.”

“Wait, so why didn't you just say hello or something? Instead of stalking us from a distance?”

“I was going to when Scott didn't recognize me, but then I decided it'd be funny. Anyway, you guys did your own stalking it seems.”

“We certainly did..you were successful though. Where did you see me?”

“You don't have to worry about not recognizing me. I boarded one of your trains this week. I was in the front car and saw you. I wasn't sure it was you at first, but then I heard your announcement. 'Union Square. Transfer here for the N, R, Q, W, 4, 5, 6, 7 ,8 ,9, 10...wait, only the 4,5,6 I just can't help counting once I start.'”

“Ahh yes. I'm worse at 6^th, because then I have to start with 1,2,3. The nine used to help but then they abandoned that line.”

“Sara walked down the stairs and right past me onto the train on her way to work. This was earlier yesterday, I was coming home to pick up some clothes. If I was a little faster she would've actually seen me at home.”

“No guarantees. I can be very zombie-like in the morning.”

“Saved the best for last?”

“Certainly. You were walking on Park with your friend Melissa, and I suddenly stopped because I wanted to grab an Onion from one of the boxes, and you actually walked into me. I thought for sure you'd recognize me, but you just said 'excuse me' and hurried on your way.”

“Oops. Serves you right for suddenly stopping in front of me though. We were in a hurry, Melissa had made lunch reservations and we were running late.”

“So that's how I've been stalking you all week. Now to the important stuff, where's Clarence with our second round?”